Hearts Cry

A lengthy post.. but worth a read. Not all sunshine and happiness – sorry! I’ll do better next post!


7accabc5b3cc60fb680cf012f5dce6ccPhoto credit : coffeelovesme.com

I sure am trying… but yesterday, my morning wake up didn’t even allow for time to smell the coffee. Because there wasn’t any. For four hours. No electricity, and no water.

Further to Monday’s post, let me add this :

There is a schedule for loadshedding. Provided to us in an attempt to help us plan ahead. The electricity cuts fall into different stages. So for example, if Stage 2 has been implemented, you can check the schedule for your area and plan around the hours that you will be without electricity. It’s great – if and when it works.

Yesterday – Tuesday, (in case I don’t get this posted today) they jumped between stages without advising anyone, until after they had switched the electricity off. There was no time to prepare for it. So yesterday, in a space of 14 hours, we were without electricity for 8 of them!

For the first time ever (loadshedding has been happening on and off for many years now), there has been a stage 6 implemented. Things just got serious. Stage 6 means that 8 hours of the day without electricity needs to be expected.

What needs to be understood is this : the tension and total failure in this country is already at dangerous levels – loadshedding is adding to an already highly sensitive situation, and things are looking more than grim.

I always giggle when ‘foreigners’ are not aware of the state of things here. I don’t expect any of you to be. Speaking with family in the UK, and my ‘sister’ in the US, I am well aware that a lot of the time there is a media blackout of sorts with regards to most issues. And who wants to sit and troll through the awful crime and failures of government in other countries when their own areas are enough to deal with.

The other reason I am so ‘well educated’ with regards to other countries (other than the having family and a best friend living overseas) is that I do a lot of homework and research because if I ever get out of this country, I need to be well aware of where we are going, for my children’s sake.

I made a comment on someone else’s blog post, that I think is fitting to share here, and now. Please understand that I am under NO illusion that ‘the grass is greener on the other side’. EVERY country has its issues and nowhere is paradise – unless humans have never found it. But I will say that the severity of our issues is a lot less than what my family and friends overseas face. And this is factual – not just based on hearsay. The countries and places I have investigated are numerous – of course I always start with crime statistics and the types of crime committed. But I also do lengthy research in the form of reading their local online newspapers. It’s not all stored in my head…but I know where we wouldn’t go 😛

Getting back to that grass….

I saw a sign the other day, and I had to laugh. (Although it’s sad when you think of it…but there’s definitely a funny side to it.)
The sign said, “The grass is only greener where you water it.”
I didn’t laugh at the sign as such… I laughed because at the time I didn’t have any water in my taps. How am I supposed to water the grass? Another thought popped into my head… our water is contaminated a lot of the time and municipal advisories are to not drink the tap water in my area – so if there is water and I water the grass? Pfft.

As much as I research other places to live, I avoid our own news. I no longer watch it, and I refuse to buy a newspaper. Our local paper was giving away free copies a month back, and my son got one – and dumped it in the trash after the first three pages. His comment? “Not one good thing. And now I’m more scared.”
I have Facebook – and our local community page is enough to upset and anger me. But I can’t stick my head completely in the sand – I need to know what is happening around me for our safety. Especially considering that most of the things never make actual news.  Every now and then, the radio news catches me. I listen with one ear, but sometimes have to mute it. I know my daughter did the same the other day when they were reporting on yet another baby that had been raped and she said, “Sorry, but I just can’t listen to this stuff anymore.” (My cousin runs a safehouse/children’s home, and we have held and poured love out onto a nine month old baby who required extensive reconstructive surgery due to this very thing, and will have a colostomy bag for the rest of her life…so it hits very close to home for us every time we hear reports of this happening.) 😥

Yesterday, I heard an economist speaking about loadshedding and its impact on us, and this morning I had a look at what he said in a broader light – ie. I went to look at some financial reporting.
Basically our economy is facing its second recession in two years. Mines have had to shut down. Everyone is already financially drained – businesses that are not corporate cannot afford generators and so no electricity means a halt in productivity, which means an inability to generate income, which means difficulty paying staff – forget about business running costs. A local man, someone I am acquainted with, committed suicide last week due to the financial pressures. He’s not the first this year, and I think that the way things are going, even though the year is nearly up, he won’t be the last 😦

Please forgive me for feeling despondent and frustrated and sad. And angry. All of which are emotions that are ridiculous when you take into consideration that they are all because of things that are completely not within my control. But I’m feeling them anyway. And I’m struggling a bit.

It hasn’t robbed me of my joy completely. And I am very grateful that for now the children and I have what we need and we woke up this morning, safe. So I know the negative emotions are a contradiction… but I can’t help feeling them. 😦
And yes, I have been a victim of crime – but the angels were working overtime and my protection was in place. I’ve been stabbed and robbed on a beach walk – saved from worse by fishermen nearby who heard my screams. My home has been broken into – and I live in the centre of a secure complex (a gated community with electric fencing all around). I am grateful we were not harmed – the stuff they can have. I don’t have much anyway.

I’ve never been a material person. In fact, it’s always been a standing joke : Show Meg a brochure without prices and she’ll still somehow love the cheapest things in it. That even applies to jewelry. It’s hilarious. I guess I don’t have expensive taste 😛 But what I really want most in all the world is the most expensive thing – strange huh? I want out of my country.

Whatever you believe, here’s my hearts cry almost every day…..

Dear God,

I know it’s all about timing, but I am asking anyway… and I know that nowhere is ideal… but please can we move overseas? Please make a way where it is completely impossible and unattainable for us. Please.

I want my children’s education to MEAN something – I want them to have a future.

We want jobs that will provide for us.

I want our lives to mean something.

We don’t want to live in fear anymore.

We don’t want to be where human life has so little value – where petty theft is no longer just that.
Where people are killed for the few coins they have on them.
Where rape and murder are everyday occurrences.
Where even the ‘good and previously safe areas’ are areas of violent crime.
Where the sexual violence rate is one of the highest in the world.
Where babies are raped due to a ‘virgin cleansing myth’ that this will cure men of AIDS.
Where a house break in when people are home almost always involves rape, torture and murder.

That’s what we want. The timing may not be right. I get that.
Thank you for your complete protection this far. If this is where we have to be, please continue to provide and protect. Please.

And please help my heart to stay filled with joy. Please help me to continue to be kind to those around me.



Photo credit : quotefancy.com


Photo credit : quickmeme.com

14 thoughts on “Hearts Cry

  1. First and foremost…..❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Lots of love and hugs!!!!! I have been thinking about you and praying for you and wondering where you’ve been. Okay…….. I’m going to finish reading your writing now…….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, my friend….this made me angry and broke my heart, completely. I have been following up on your country, and have been learning things that have caused me to pray more. God hears your heart cry. He hears it loud and clear. When I had no way, and I needed to move, He heard my prayers and provided. I had no money. I had no hopes for being able to save for it……and Jesus did it. He will set situations up in you life, in your favor, where you KNOW only He could have done it.
    Let me tell you this, it takes us looking for the truth to know what to pray for and how to help. People may not like sifting through bad news, but, the world does not revolve around the US, and other places. If we want to know, we definitely can find out. I am praying for you, that your prayers are answered. I promise you, from my own testimony, that God will make a way out of no way. He will open doors that no human can. He will give you favor and give you favor with people. He will not forsake you. Never stop seeking Him. Never stop trusting Him….no matter how hard life is presenting itself to you. You are in my prayers….you and your babies. I am so sorry you live through this. You have such a powerful ministry for this world. You’ve seen things many of us have not. You have experienced God’s mercy and Grace, His protection. Keep being faithful to Him. He will be faithful to you. I promise you. ❤️❤️❤️


  3. That was a hard read and my heart goes out to you. Your ability to find positive things in the surrounding darkness is a source of inspiration. That said I, like others will join your prayer to leave.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Wic. I appreciate the comment… especially since this post shows that I have moments where the negative gets to me and exposes weakness. But the more prayers the better 😉 Meg


  4. Hi Meg
    It is really difficult to like your post maybe they should do something similar to other social media sites. 🤔😂
    I too agree that inasmuch as the grass always seems to be greener on the other side, unfortunately we don’t get to see it unless we start moving and that is easier said than done 😊
    I appreciate your honesty and your resolve given the situation that you find yourself and your family in and I am sure that a lot of the way you are feeling is because you want a better and safer life not just for you but for your children also. 😊
    I cannot begin to say that I think I know how you feel because although I have been assaulted on many different occasions I have never felt as though my life has been in danger and I have known both the perpetrators and the reason for the attacks on at least 3 of the occasions.
    I can not imagine how brutal a regime that you live in and the worries that you must face each and every day especially having 2 young adults to think about.
    I think that it is really difficult to comprehend how different life is to how it is portrayed in TV dramas and travelogue programs with the nature reserves, Table Mountain and other beautiful sights to see and yet hidden away from view is a totally different way of life ❤️.
    My thoughts and prayers reach out to you and your family and may God bless you and your family in all that you do and may you feel the love and protection of your Guardian Angels is my prayer and blessing upon you my dear friend 😊 ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, my dear friend.
      Oh yes, we have a beautiful country with some amazing scenery, and almost perfect weather most of the time – there is no doubt about that. And visitors are not often exposed to crime… which is a relief. It’s just frightening that the world has an idea of what is going on, and yet not the severity,
      Prayers are always appreciated…
      Thank you for your continuous emotional support and encouragement. You are a gem.
      Much love to you and Kath,

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t even know where to begin. I read your post this morning and was heartbroken over the difficulties you are facing. I had no idea it was like that there. I spent most of my morning angry and crying to God in prayer over the injustice of it all. And to think in the middle of all of that you write the most funny and inspiring things! You are a light in that dark place and an inspiration to all. I am praying for you and your family! Thank you for being vulnerable and bringing awareness to what life is like in your country!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Collene, I have only revealed the tip of the iceberg 😥 It is indeed a very sad situation… and I am angry at the leadership. I appreciate you saying that I am an inspiration and a light – especially since I view my post as one where my negative side is somewhat exposed. It’s difficult to not lose heart, and feel sad and angry, at all that is happening. Especially seeing the decline daily and not knowing what is still coming.
      But prayers are always appreciated. And I thank you for remembering us. ❤
      You are not alone with regards to crying out to God about the injustice – I do it often and also experience moments of extreme anger. Especially when I hold an abandoned and abused baby.
      This time of year is the worst – in all respects. I am so grateful that the children and I are still safe, and together, and have love and kindness in our hearts. My greatest prayer is that our hearts remain that way, and that anger and bitterness don't creep in.
      Thank you again, for everything.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow. I am shocked at the happenings and all you all have to face daily. The economy in my home country too is facing its edges and truly it can be a lot when we think about all the happenings. My heart prays for you ma’am. May His intervention come through for you. The case of the babies and the myth is really saddening!. May He grant unto all parents how to guard these seeds of His. And really pray that the havoc stops!. 😪🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, dear one. I know that your country is facing an almost equal economic crisis. Prayers for you too.
      And yes… the havoc and mayhem and innocent lives lost really DOES need to stop! 🙏


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