Beach Sunrise

I’ve mentioned before that I am a ‘mountains and waterfalls, forest and lakes’ kind of person. I think this may be largely due to the fact that I grew up in a coastal town where the beach was never more than a 5 minute car drive away.
Because we’re a coastal town, people flock to the beach in droves – and not just in Summer. Our Winter’s are generally warm, and so even though the sea temperature is not of great encouragement for swimming purposes, many visit the beach in Winter for walks, and beach games (rugby, cricket, volleyball). Young families can be found on the beach in Winter, because the children can still run and build sand castles.

It’s not that I don’t like the beach. Please don’t get me wrong. I love the ocean – but have a deep respect for it too. I love watching the waves, and can sit for hours when dolphins come out to play, or whales decide to entertain me. My children and I had the opportunity a few years back to go on a small Catamaran sailing yacht, with some of the sailors from a local yacht club. We went quite far out, and even saw a shark! It was an amazing experience and we all discovered that we may just have sea legs 😉
I love long walks on the beach, just before sunset.

That said, I do not get excited about planned beach outings. Especially when the beach is busy, which it is, more often than not, here. I like it when it’s almost deserted – but the last seven years have not allowed for enjoying this time with the horrific rise in crime.
I don’t like lying around in the sand. And I still wear long pants or a long skirt to the beach! Ha ha ha ha! I just can’t bare to share, well, my bare legs.
My friend, who is now 63, assures me that in another ten years I really won’t care what people think anymore, and I’ll don my bathing suit and go for a dip in the ocean despite them. I’m waiting another ten years 😛 😉

At the moment, our beaches are closed. And law enforcement is prohibiting us from going for a drive, just to soak in the scenery. Our 21 day lock down is surprisingly strict for my country. They’re successfully pulling it off in my town – I suppose that’s the ‘bain’ of living in a small place. But I understand why the measures are in place, and I accept them.

I found this random picture on Facebook, to show you what my local beach looks like – it’s about a twenty minute walk from my house.

What sparked me to look for this pic?

Because I actually want to share the pictures I am going to post below, that I saw this morning. They were taken by someone who lives along one of the beach roads… basically from the opposite side of the picture above. He shared them on our community group on Facebook this morning. They were of sunrise, today.

So I thought I’d share some sunrise beauty with all of you too! 😉

Trusting everyone is safe and well!

Hospital window

As I lay in bed last night, my brain slowly winding down to allow me to sleep, I was reminded of the story that I managed to find, and am going to share below. 

”Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Author Unknown”

These are trying times. May we continue to encourage one another as much as we possibly can. ❤

Why my heart is sad…

South Africa is on a 21 day lockdown. It began at midnight on Thursday night.

To be completely honest, I doubted our countries ability to follow through with this. But in my area, they’re being really strict about it. A friend went to buy bread yesterday, and was stopped by the police – questioned as to why he was out, and then his registration number was taken down. He was warned that he was not allowed out again yesterday – and that he needed to be quick about his bread trip. I’m sort of impressed.
They’ve limited all movement – you may not walk your dog, the beaches are closed, you may not leave your house for any form of physical exercise, even if you’re wearing a mask.

Unfortunately, I woke up yesterday to confirmed reports in my area of eleven house break ins between midnight and 5am – that’s a lot for an area where there are only about 9000 of us living (total population is about 13 000, but the balance reside in an informal settlement.)
As I suspected, despite these strict measures in place, crime is on the rise.

Because we’re a people where the majority live below the poverty line. Our unemployment rate is higher than anywhere else. Many don’t have access to social media or television. They didn’t know about the proposed lock down until they got to work on Tuesday. There are a lot of casual labourers who now have no income whatsoever – and were living hand to mouth anyway on the days they were able to work. It’s heartbreaking. In a place where people are already hungry, and struggling to survive, this was like a death sentence.
There will be no government assistance for individuals or small businesses.
Us self employed people? You just gotta make it work.

Domestic abuse and child rape is alarmingly high here. I feel ill about the 21 day lock down.

Then the government announced on Thursday morning that Thursday would be the last day you could purchase cigarettes and alcohol for this lock down period. And my little area went wild. Alcohol is a big coping mechanism around here – and although I have never been one to turn to it, for some reason I get it.
But here’s where things got nasty.
Because suddenly, instead of buying food to see them through, way too many spent their wages or the stipend they received on stocking up on alcohol to see them through. When you’re an individual, then sure, that’s your choice. When you have a family? They’re paying a price I don’t even want to think about.
Then my mind wandered to the alcoholics with families who just didn’t have the money to stock up at all. What happens when they go cold turkey?

And all these things? They pretty much knocked the wind out of my sails yesterday.

I know these are not MY decisions or choices.
I know I am not responsible for any of it.
I know that ‘carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders’ is a very heavy burden that I should not be trying to bear.
I know that this has nothing to do with me personally. (I may still be affected by the rise in crime, but I am safer than most.)

My heart aches anyway. And I cry despite that knowledge. And I still wish I could do something to change it all.

But all I can do is stay at home, and pray really hard, for my fellow man out there – despite his/her skin colour, sexual orientation, poor life choices etc etc etc.

I know that this is not a very encouraging post to read. I know that this is a little bit unlike me. However, I also know that being honest about the impacts of the virus and not just the virus itself can also lead to an increase in awareness of those around us, and the need to pray, for those who do.

Please do check back tomorrow – my feelings will still be the same, but I promise that I will write something more uplifting ❤

Impacts

Yesterday morning was a difficult one.

Sometimes something will happen, and suddenly a whole new perspective and level of concern is opened up as you fully realise the impact of a situation to the lives around you.

My heart just started to hurt. And I cried. And as much as I wanted to suddenly reach out and help everyone all at once, I couldn’t. So I just did what I could.

During the course of the day, I was again shocked at how much selfishness is out there… but there was a light at the end of the tunnel as someone revealed to me that I need not lose hope in all of humanity. The kindness shown to me healed a small part of my hurting heart – and restored my faith, knowing that that person will be part of the chain reaction of kindness and assistance for my fellow human beings.

Because we all need to do our part, however small, with whatever we have, at a time like this. This virus outbreak has taught me many important lessons – one of them being that ‘a little truly does go a long way’. 

I woke up this morning, and I was overwhelmed by the things that have occurred in my suburb in the eight hours that I slept.
(My town is divided into suburbs – there are approximately 300 000 people living in my town – but in my area (suburb) there are only about 13 000 of us.)

And I was overwhelmed in a bad way.

It’s not even the virus itself. As bad as it is, and as much as it is affecting the world.

It’s the repercussions of the virus – the way lock down is now impacting us.

I spent an hour writing blog posts in my head – to reveal what we are now dealing with, to make people aware, to help you understand where I am coming from.

But it’s all just too negative. And we have enough of that to deal with right now.

I will share at a later stage… but I’m still a bit raw from it all… and finding the right words is going to take a little bit of time.

So instead I am going to ask you to keep us in your thoughts – and prayers, if it’s something you do. But not just me and my kids – my country as a whole.

And to please remember to be part of the chain reaction of kindness – doing whatever you can with whatever you have, even if you can only positively impact one person a day. 

I’m okay. My kids are okay. And I am grateful.

Be a light in the darkness when and where you can.

May you all continue to remain safe, and sane. ❤

 

How we are doing…

I saw this on Facebook and I laughed out loud… so of course, I have to share it 😉

It did get me to thinking though how blessed we are to have been granted time at home to do the things we never really get a chance to do, because life gets in the way.

The only real changes to my life as I know it is that I am no longer having to be Mom’s Taxi – no school, no dance. And suddenly I am no longer minus four hours in my day 🙂
I did realise, with a small amount of sadness, that it doesn’t actually affect me socially. I very seldom get together with friends anymore. So 21 days with myself? Well, that’s pretty much the norm these days. (Well, technically me, my dogs, and my children – the norm.) This is usually due to a busy dancing schedule that means I have to cancel plans to be the transport 😉 And it’s actually a norm that I enjoy – I don’t feel unfulfilled or lonely. And when I do get together with friends on the odd occasion? It means that I enjoy and value the time a little bit more.

There has been a little bit of tension in my house though – my big dog was grumpy for a couple of days (after a vet trip, he’s been given antibiotics – infected nail), my teen is daughter is grumpy because she misses her friends and dancing, and says that practising at home on her own just isn’t the same. I totally get that! My 21 year old son, who is almost finished his BComm degree which he is doing online, is a bit grumpy because he’s used to us being out of the house for a few hours a day which gives him a little bit of peace – understandable, again. I’m grumpy because I dislike having to do damage control between the two of them 😛 😛 😛
My little dog just carries on with her life, chasing bugs and completely oblivious to the rest of us. Life is good 😉

The virus has hit my town, and as far as I know, we have three confirmed cases. This was still not enough to elicit panic in me. In fact the calm that I am feeling in the midst of all this chaos can only be credited to a Higher Power – Something Greater than me.
Or maybe there truly is something wrong with me?

Our President announced on Monday night that the country is going into lock down from Thursday. And my town went mad. People flocked to every shop, bottle store, pharmacy and emptied the shelves – hundreds of people in small spaces bumping up against each other, not respecting even half a metre distance in queues. Just plain crazy.
I have enough food supplies to last us three days – and I can bake 😉
Thereafter, I will be trying to purchase online for delivery. However, at the moment, our online service (we only have one supplier for groceries) is out of stock – I can’t even buy 2 litres of long life milk for my cupboard. How silly! They have assured us that they will be replenishing stocks in the next couple of days though. And as I said, I can bake – so I have assured the kids they won’t starve 😉
I still genuinely feel calm. SMH. (Shaking My Head, for those who don’t know 😉 )

I will admit, however, that I was extremely angry on Monday afternoon. And here’s why:

Patient Zero (our first Coronavirus patient here in my town) is a 28 year old woman who returned from Germany recently, and tested positive last week. She agreed to self-quarantine in her own home, and so they sent her home. 
However, on the weekend, she roamed the streets  – she went shopping and apparently even went out for a meal. Because, according to her, it is her right. And yes, I am going to say it, ‘What the eff???!!!’

This young lady claimed that she was exercising her right to freedom of movement – how dare they tell her to stay at home. Personally, I feel our government should be exercising their right to charge her with culpable homicide. 

I don’t think what has happened in my town is exclusive. I don’t think she’s the only one with this type of attitude. But because it hits so close to home, it just made me SO ANGRY!

Yes, we don’t need to panic. But I can’t stress enough that we DO need to stop being so selfish. Why is this so difficult for people? Has this world really become such a heartless place? 

I have been very careful to pretty much ‘self quarantine’ the kids and I, even though we have no symptoms of the virus. (Pretty much since schools here shut down, and so I have been ‘legally’ able to.) I have limited my outings to the shops greatly, without panic buying.
I haven’t done all this because I am overreacting, scared or misinformed. I have done this because I need to do my part to protect the elderly, and people that are perhaps sick with pre-existing conditions that make them vulnerable. 

Because here’s what I do know : they’re still learning about this virus. I could be a carrier without even knowing it, despite the fact that I have been really careful, and not been in physical contact with anyone who has travelled – to my knowledge.

I know that It’s Not About Me!

Let’s all try to be kind enough to consider other people, please.

Be safe, dear readers and friends. And don’t forget to fix the things that need fixing because now you have time 😛 😉

Choosing Wisely

When I was about four years old, I had a cassette tape with children’s songs on it. I don’t remember what it was called, and can only vaguely recall the colours of its little covering. But funnily enough, I still remember quite a few of the songs, and still sometimes sing them.

My search to find some of them online has been futile. And I am sad about that. I have asked several people my age, and have even sung the songs to them, but their knowledge of them has returned a negative result. Then again, while I am sure the tunes I have sung have been spot on, I am not so sure that I have remembered all the words correctly – which I guess may also be why my search results have been zero.

Don’t worry – I won’t be uploading an audio file of me singing 😛

I saw this and it had me singing one of those songs :

Photo credit : doppleronline.ca

The words to the song, that I am sure I remember.. sort of.. go something like this :

”Crossness is catchy like the the fever,
Crossness is catchy like the flu,
So send a little smile, spreading mile by mile,
’cause friendliness is catchy too, thank goodness,
friendliness is catchy too!”

In these uncertain times, let us consider all of the above. And please choose wisely.

Today I am so thankful that even though human contact is a no, I still have the wonderful opportunity to stay in touch with people, and spread heartfelt love, support and encouragement through the internet.

Awkward Moments

Today is apparently ‘Awkward Moments Day‘. I also found it interesting that it follows St Patrick’s Day – and I am sure we can all guess why (excessive alcohol shenanigans can lead to some pretty awkward moments for some 😛 ).

But in the current state of our world, I am sure many of us are having many of these types of moments. I had one yesterday.

I heard a gentleman cough in the next aisle in the grocery store, and then there was the sound of some things falling off the shelf. As I rounded the corner of the aisle, the gentleman still stood there, and a lady stood a short distance away from him, with a look of horror on her face. She had stepped back straight after he coughed, and had knocked down several of the bottles on the spice shelf with her handbag – a few now lay broken on the floor. The Manager and a staff member, as well as a few others in the store, had all come to see what had happened.

And all of a sudden, I sneezed. With this audience in front of me. Three times! 

The lady with the offending handbag threw her hands up in the air and turned on the Manager, ”I’m going to die of a deadly virus because of your store!” She then stormed off, and we all stood there, looking awkwardly at each other.
(Bearing in mind that at the moment, there are still no reported or confirmed cases in our entire province – SA is divided into provinces, and while there are 60 odd confirmed cases in our country, they remain in other provinces.)
The man shrugged his shoulders and said apologetically, ‘Smokers cough”. I shrugged mine, and pointed at the floor where numerous herbs and spices now lay scattered, and said, ”Pepper”.

There was a moment of silence, perhaps we were all sub-consciously observing the ‘deaths of those bottles’, and then….

We all started laughing. 

One of the other shoppers shrugged and said with a smile, ”Panic sure isn’t going to stop the virus.”

And then we all went on our way to finish our shopping.

But truer words have never been spoken. Panic isn’t going to stop it, and it also isn’t going to help anyone. 

And we’ve had our fair share of panic in our country. Not only do we have the daily stress of the lack of jobs, lack of clean water and people dying due to those factors, we also have the daily concern of crime that is more severe than you could imagine (and gets swept under the rug). Our economy has been crashing for a long time now – it will get worse, and still would have, with or without the virus. And let’s not forget that in 2018 polony tried to kill us here in South Africa! That was frightening for us as a small family – although my children don’t eat polony, we were regular eaters of that brand of cold meat and bacon, and at that stage I was buying Rainbow Chicken products.

I am not making light of this virus that is doing the rounds, please don’t get me wrong. I have a lovely blogging friend who is currently in quarantine because she has it, and although she is struggling, her optimism and levels of hope are encouraging.

I read somewhere that it’s not a case of if you get the virus, it’s a case of when.

Maybe there is something wrong with me, but I still don’t feel panicked. 

There are infinite resources to advise us of how we can be responsible, and naturally I am taking the necessary precautions. But for me personally? I find that being calm, and having hope, and offering encouragement and support can be equally as ‘catchy as the virus’.

My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones because of this virus, and to those who are in quarantine because they have contracted it. I am sad for them, and wish I could change all this. Take it away. Turn it into a bad dream and allow us all to wake up and find it wasn’t real.

But it is real. And it is scary. And it is sad.

However, panic isn’t going to help any of us.

I think that as with everything in life, we can only do what we can to change what we can – be aware, and take precautionary measures.

Here’s hoping that you all find a semblance of peace amidst this chaos!

Touching on Success

As with many things in life, success has different meanings in different situations.
By it’s definition, it is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

And although I know that I know this, sometimes I still forget some of the aspects related to the word ‘success’.

I was reading Ed Mylett’s book, and he was talking about when he first started out – the early days of his entrepreneurship. When he wasn’t a successful entrepreneur.

He speaks of how they had nothing. Bills hadn’t been paid, utilities had been shut off. He and his wife had to sneak down to the apartment complex’s swimming pool before others woke up to use the showers there, and then he’d don his business suit and ‘pretend’ to be a successful entrepreneur. He mentions that the showers were open ones, and so he would hold a towel for his wife to try and ‘protect her privacy’.

What struck me, as I read those words, was this :

Yes, he wasn’t yet a successful entrepreneur, BUT in my eyes (based on the story he told) he was pretty successful as a husband.

I don’t read Success magazine, but I liked what I found in Wikipedia…

~~According to the company, the magazine “focuses on people who take full responsibility for their own development and income,” and provides personal and professional development.~~ 

Because here’s the thing : we are fully responsible for our own personal and professional development, and the success thereof. While circumstances may play a part in delaying our ‘success’, I think that a lot of the time the fact that we just continue to persevere is successful in itself!

A couple of weeks ago, I was approached by a friend who was being poached by another company – according to her she was really happy in her current placement, but the other company was offering her a much better salary package. She asked me what she should do. I told her to speak to her boss, and see if he could perhaps counteroffer. Naturally, she was worried that the other company would still be offering her more – and what then? My reply was ‘to determine what it was she was chasing – if she’s happy where she is, and that is what she wants from life, then she should stay. If her aim was to make more money, then she should change jobs’.
I don’t know that this was the best advice (since then, her current company came in with a better offer and she is staying where she is) but I do know this :

Success is largely about perspective, and it’s personal. What it means to me may not necessarily be what it means to you. 
I found this article about 9 famous people who spoke of what success is – to them. There were some interesting things in there, so I thought I’d share it in case you wanted to do some further reading 😉

Photo credit : quotefancy.com

I love the quote above. It’s something I often refer to, and is a reminder for me to ‘think big’.

But I find that I have to regularly argue with myself. (An article for reference because I am not crazy 😛 )

And I know I am not alone when I say that I am ‘my own worst enemy’ and that the main thing ‘standing in my way is ME’!

I have to argue with myself because I have not yet conquered all those limiting beliefs, and one of the biggest ones that I struggle with is the one that tells me I will never be successful.

I do think it is all about perspective though – and it’s personal. Because what I want to be successful at? I think I am slowly but surely achieving. I doubt it’s going to make me famous though 😛

My definition of success is just that – it’s mine. It’s looking at my aims and purposes (goals) and celebrating when I achieve them.

I like to dance… so I think I am going to go with an optimistic view on this :

Photo credit : me.me

For now I will just keep doing my best, work on believing in myself, continue learning and growing so that I can be a better version of me, and keep checking my list of what I want to achieve.

And I will celebrate each small success (my perception of it) along the way!

Feel free to reward yourself now, since you have successfully completed reading this blog post 😉

 

The Naming and Shaming Bandwagon

We had an incident on our Facebook community page just yesterday, regarding naming and shaming. The whole mess got really ugly, before the Admins got there to remove the post. I only know about it, because it involved someone I know, who was extremely upset by the whole incident and was reaching out to me to try and help her with her responses because she was so emotional and didn’t want to respond from that hurt and angry emotion that she was feeling. She needed someone from the outside to help her find words that would be a little more level-headed. I was her ‘go to’.

She had bumped another car in a parking lot – a small scratch on their door – but instead of writing a note or sticking around, she left. Her state of mind at the time was extremely fragile, and so when it happened, she panicked. So she was guilty of the infraction reported in our group, telling the person to come forward ‘or else’. The report was posted two hours after the incident, by a witness, who had photo’s which they also posted. When she saw it, she had calmed down quite a bit and offered an apology, admitted to the infraction, and then asked the owner of the vehicle to private message her so that she could give them her number etc.

What followed was just ‘personal junk’. Things from her past, trying to discredit her as a person – it got ugly. Because the initial report was posted by her ex. It suddenly escalated way beyond the incident, and became a true one-sided mud-slinging match, minus the girl in a bikini. It wasn’t pleasant, at all. Eventually, Admin seemed to ‘be there’, and the entire thing was removed. Admin DID get her contact details, and the infraction is being handled. But not before ‘the world’ could see, comment and form a biased opinion. Fortunately, there was a small upside, in that someone suddenly thought to ask how the reporter knew so much personal stuff, and he was exposed as the ex. Thankfully, some people quickly changed their opinions, and all was not lost.

And it got me to thinking of the events of the past few days.

I have been under such a personal attack and had my integrity and whole being questioned. I had discussed with someone that I would not attempt a defense simply because it would be a waste of time. Those who truly know me, wouldn’t entertain the ‘other side of the story’. Those who do? I shouldn’t worry about them anyway. In the words of Rachel Hollis, and I think I shared the picture in a blog post a few days back, ‘Someone else’s opinion of me is none of my business.’

But I was told to visit the page in question this morning. And it contained even more personal stuff- – personal email from me — and people who follow me had actually liked the post. I guess I pretty much know what they think of me now, don’t I?
According to the latest post, the earlier ‘revealings and rants’ have been removed – that’s in italics because that’s what I think of them. I am not quoting anyone else.

I DO, however, feel that I need to say the following, and I am going to attempt to say it in a dignified and calm manner – and I will not be revealing anything ‘personal’ that was said to me…
So if you are reading this far, and are expecting a tit for tat, then I am afraid that you will be disappointed. I don’t believe in slandering and attacking someone for the whole world to see.

The other reason for me saying what I am about to say is that you may have found yourself on either side of this personally, and perhaps somehow this helps.

Please also see my other post.

According to the 2017 census for South Africa, there are 56.72 million people living here. I don’t live here alone. (How awesome would it be if I had a whole country to myself?)
And even though our country is largely behind the times in a lot of things, I personally know at least 45 of those people blog. I am also not under any illusion that we’re the only 46 bloggers in this country.
Now if I happen to mention your blog, for whatever reason, you need to know that you may suddenly get other visitors from my country. Please do not falsely accuse me of being the only person in South Africa who visits your page, and then go on to accuse me of stalking you. That’s a rather serious allegation to make. And if you’re genuinely that concerned, then block me – even if I am not a telemarketer.

It is not cool, when someone has a blog name that doesn’t give their real name (nopassingfancy) to plaster their real name, AND email address, across your blog. You clearly understand that this is not cool, when you blot out your own before doing so. I am not, and will never be, okay with this. And the people who like it, and agree with it, need to re-evaluate how they would feel if their identity was used in this way.

I am a loving, caring, open person – I feel things and I feel them strongly. When you reach out to me, and show me respect, love, kindness, encouragement? Naturally, because of who I am, I will ‘love you’, and show you the same. I will always respectfully agree to disagree, and never throw my knowledge of the Bible in your face. I fully understand hurt that is caused by Christians, and I am not going to judge you or use God against you.
I am flawed though.
And when you attack me (that is the word I use for it) by accusing me of purposely posting a blog post to deliberately hurt you, when we’re supposed to be friends – and through that accusation begin to question my beliefs and character, judging my understanding and knowledge of the Bible (which sort of means questioning my relationship with God, I guess)? Then unfortunately, my feelings towards you will change. I will pull back, and question ‘what we’ve shared’. I will question your character in my mind, and quite possibly choose to remove myself from that friendship.
I still respect you enough to not draw attention to what I feel is ‘your ugly’.

And here’s the other thing : you cannot choose to target someone and share personal things that they have said and done, unless you are prepared to provide the ENTIRE truth. Some of my actions may have seemed like infractions, but here’s the thing – I can’t defend them, because to do so would be to reveal personal things that were shared with me, and told to me…

And that’s not how I roll. Sorry. Not Sorry.

And when you remove all the other blatantly slanderous posts, and rewrite your blog post to really reflect untruths and completely change the entire story so that you really do seem like a victim of complete unfair treatment… you also need to be aware that some people already saw what was going on, and you’re confusing them. 

If you don’t like me, then remove me from your life – don’t dwell and post ten posts regarding me by actually naming and shaming me. And yes, I used the word  ‘dwell’.  Its definition is ‘’think, speak, or write at length about (a particular subject, especially one that is a source of unhappiness, anxiety, or dissatisfaction’’. You can use ‘mull over/muse on/brood about’, or whatever you choose. Dwell is a word I like. It’s what I say I am doing when I am focusing on something that is making me unhappy/negative. It’s personal.

In dealing with situations and in response to things we don’t like, I also think we need to be careful about what we say about people, and how we characterize them. Especially when it may be so far from the truth that a telescope wouldn’t even be able to see it. There was a word you used, when you warned, ‘WORDPRESS BEWARE’!
You told ‘everyone who wanted to read through your numerous tags’ that I am evil.
The definition is telling people that I am profoundly immoral and wicked.
Thing is, that wicked could also mean sinful. And if you simply meant that – that I am sinful – then I hate to break it to you, but we’re ALL sinners.

It’s okay to dislike someone. And it’s even okay to dislike them without having a reason.
But you shouldn’t try and degrade, humiliate or disrespect them, just because you can.

Yes, my character and integrity have been called into question. Yes, my side of it may not be entirely clean. Even this blog post may not have been a correct response, even though I really felt like I needed to write it. SO…

I apologise for anything I have said or done that may be construed as harmful or hurtful. To anyone.

Rant over! Let’s move on!

And here’s hoping you all have a wonderful weekend ❤

 

 

 

Using My Time

 

Last week, I was invited to meet with someone regarding a project they were considering. They wanted me in on it, which made me feel really honoured, and a little afraid, at the same time. It wouldn’t provide any income for me – but there was a possibility of a small percentage after a year, if the project was a success and actually generated income. In the meeting, their enthusiasm and excitement was contagious. Despite me feeling all fired up though, I knew that I needed ‘time to think about it’. We’re meeting again next week.
But I’m going to have to decline.

I’ve always been quite hard on myself with regards to maintaining a ‘work life balance’. I’ve read the articles and jotted down tips regarding this, and even tried to force myself to comply with ‘rules’ set to ‘ensure work life balance’. And I still seem to fail. 
At one stage, about four years ago, I even kept a ‘time journal’ for a month.
I still failed. 
Most days, I was leaning either one way or the other. Most days, I either seemed to favour ‘doing life’, or ‘working’. And I don’t just mean a 60/40 split. I’m talking 80/20 and 90/10. And it made me feel like such a failure. I’d not only beat myself up for having ‘poor time management skills’, but I’d carry the burden of ‘not being able to achieve something that is so simple’. I had all the printouts, and worksheets, and calendars – the ‘tools for time management’, and I still sucked.

So when the new project came along last week, the first thing that jumped to my mind was, ‘You already don’t have enough hours in a day. Say no.’
But instead, my mouth said, ‘Can I have a couple of weeks to just mull it over, please?’

And it’s been a brain battle ever since. I’ve run through every scenario regarding my current commitments in my head for if I take it on – what I would need to restructure, organise, sacrifice. Up until this morning, I didn’t know that I was indeed going to say no.

This morning, we had no power again for three hours. I did the chores and things that I could do without needing electricity, and then settled in my chair with my new Rachel Hollis book. I picked up where I left off two days ago, and began reading. I turned the page, and actually said out loud, ‘You’re kidding me’!

The ‘excuse’ section that I was graduating to? It was entitled, “I don’t have time.”

Then I just chuckled to myself for a few minutes, before I continued reading.
And she posed some interesting concepts. And an example, that was a bit extreme, but drove home the point. (Her example named a famous man.) But basically, if a famous actor/actress who you really admire and have been dreaming of meeting invites you for coffee, you’re going to write it in pen in your diary. And you’ll adjust your schedule accordingly. And if someone calls who ‘needs’ you at that particular time, you’re going to say no to them. It’s that important.

She mentions that the question is never, ‘do you have enough time’? The question is actually, ‘how are you using the time that you have’? 

A little later on, she addresses the thing I always hold over my own head : work life balance. (Although it’s under a different heading in the book, for me it still qualifies as part of my time concerns.)

Here’s where it’s going to ‘get a bit dicey’ – not everyone is going to agree. I’m not even sure if I agree with her fully. But to alter my perspective a little bit (and the limiting belief I have that there should be a perfect work life balance or you are failing) and try and hear what she is saying actually benefited me somewhat. 

She puts it out there that Work Life Balance is a myth. Yes! She said that! She substantiates why she thinks it too – her own personal experiences.
And I like when people share honest accounts of their own battles.

And she pretty much mentioned me! And I don’t even know her personally 😛

How we tend to look around and think that everyone else is achieving this work life balance thing and we’re the only ones who aren’t, and so we assume that it’s yet another thing that we’re failing at.

Photo credit : vecteezy.com

And then off I went back to the ‘I don’t have time’ section, and started reading again from there. And I stopped again at the end of the work life balance mention.
Then I pulled out both my notebook, and my diary, and got to work in my head and on paper.

I am currently working on a project of my own – and it’s quite a large one. It has required huge effort on my part, and a lot of schedule adjustments, to carve out the time I need to put into it in order to achieve the goal I have for it.
And to be honest, it is my ‘coffee with my favourite actor’ – because none of them have asked yet 😛  I am only prepared to negotiate the time I spend on it if my children have ‘an emergency type need’.

The only other time I could give to this proposed new shared project, without neglecting essential life things, would be my own personal development time. (I know, I know – it’s funny. You can laugh. I actually do allocate myself a certain amount of that type of time. But I have to – or I’d never get to read great books like Rachel Hollis’. 😉 )

If I was to sacrifice some of that personal development time (which already sometimes has to be adjusted because life really does happen while we’re making other plans 😛 )…. IF I took some of that time away to focus on the new project, then unfortunately it would be detrimental to me personally.

Because what is keeping me grounded and at peace, and helping me find stability despite turmoil around me? What is helping me grow and become better and giving me the inspiration to DO better? It’s that personal development time. 

It works for me 😉

And in case you’re wondering… the new Rachel Hollis book that I got is : Girl, Stop Apologizing

Thanks for taking ‘the time’ to read 😉