Can you name yourself?

self love

I shared the above picture on my Facebook wall yesterday. And my heart broke.

People I truly care about and love responded with a sad ‘like’ emoji. Four of them actually commented… and basically? Their reply was, ‘never’.

For those who responded, I did what I do best, and popped off messages of encouragement to remind them that they have worth.

But guys and girls, isn’t this such a tragic epidemic? Because so many of us can identify with it. If you had asked me six months ago, I am pretty sure my response would have been ‘never’ too.

You know something? I love my kids. I really do. It helps that I have kinda great ones πŸ˜› Thing is, that sometimes they don’t act or treat me in a way that they should – they ‘act out’ or make silly choices – and I get a little mad at them. But in every disciplinary action that I take, every word that I speak, I am alwaysΒ really clear :

”I love you no matter what. But what you just did/said, is not very like-able. So although I love you despite it, I really don’t like it.”

Why do we struggle so much to apply that to our lives?

I didn’t get that kind of unconditional love from my own mother. No! Please don’t feel sorry for me. And please understand that I don’t mean it as a disrespectful thing for her – because when I started accepting that she loved me the wayΒ she knew how, based on her belief systems and from her place of pain and bitterness, it made me see things a little differently. And it’s partly because of my experiences with her that I have been able to grow, and be a different kind of mother for my children. Moving on from that though, I want to say this :

(There’s a much better, and probably well-researched, way to get this message across. And there are more blog posts to grow from it. But sadly, I am pressed for time. So you’re just gonna have to get what’s in my heart for now.)

It doesn’t matter what mistakes you have made in your life. It doesn’t matter where you come from. It doesn’t matter if you made bad choices.Β 

It doesn’t matter who DIDN’T love you. It doesn’t matter what people have said about you.Β 

And I know it’s hard to break cycles of abuse, and switch off those repetitive voices that tell you that you’re a failure, worthless, unattractive.

The toughest is when you ‘make another mistake’, or just made your third bad choice this week and it’s only Tuesday! But guess what? That actually doesn’t matter either.

Here’s the thing : when our friends come to us, broken by the things listed above, we usually say something like, ‘My friend, don’t be so hard on yourself, cut yourself some slack, all is not lost, tomorrow is a new day’….

But we keep forgetting to apply it to ourselves.

So to everyone who is taking the time to read this :

PLEASE cut yourself some slack. Yes, maybe you need to make positive changes. Yes, maybe you’re making the same mistakes. Yes, maybe your choices need some guidance.

BUT…. those are just things that we need to ‘not like’, and work on.

They do not define you. YOU CAN STILL LOVE YOU!

Because you ARE worth it!

 

 

19 thoughts on “Can you name yourself?

  1. Good morning Meg,
    Another wonderful and thought provoking post and I think that in today’s world people feel less and less identifiable than ever before.
    It is really funny because I was asked by my daughter to do a family tree from my side of the family because she has said that because I have had a number of name changes that she doesn’t really know who she is or who to identify with.
    Sometimes we make decisions on the spare of the moment without thinking about the consequences.
    One of my name changes came about by scribbling on a beer mat 🀣🀣
    You have a great deal of worth and the love that you have for others shines through like the rays of β˜€ on a bright day.
    Enjoy your day and keep on loving in your own special way. πŸ˜ŠπŸ™πŸ€—

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Paul. Your comment is much appreciated. As I said, it’s kind of a rushed post… but I couldn’t let today go by without getting it out there. It’s really heavy on my heart. Something that is SO important!
      Hope you and Kath have a super day. Sending love to you both xx

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Good on you for getting it out, Megs! πŸ€—πŸ’™. Indeed sometimes we’ve just got to rush a post out because we have to πŸ™‚. I’m doing that all the time, so cool you can relate πŸ˜„.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Good morning Meg,
        I was just rereading your post and I meant to pick up on it especially when you said that it weighs heavy on your heart β™₯
        I think that this is because of the person you are giving freely of yourself and being so warm and caring πŸ€—
        I truly believe that you touch people in a very special and unique way by being you.
        Enjoy your Wednesday xx

        Liked by 2 people

    2. You’ve changed name for fun? I’ve always wanted to do that! Not my first name, though, probably my middle name.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It wasn’t really for fun I had a reason behind it but it was one of those moments when alcohol and a lady were present in St Ives in Cornwall and I guess that I wanted to erase my past.
        The problem is that you can change your name very quickly and easily but you can’t change your past only learn from it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. “one of those moments when alcohol and a lady were present in St Ives in Cornwall and I guess that I wanted to erase my past.”

        β€”hahaha, what a sentence! Well that’s entirely understandable my friend 😁.

        I personally want to change my name for creative reasonsβ€” you only live once and I never really rule anything outβ€” what would it be like to have a name of my choosing? It would be a shame to never know!

        Like

      3. I view it like getting a tattooβ€” I also have dreams of having just oneβ€” again, I want to know what it’s like! And it seems a very creative expression.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Haha, nice! I guessed you might respond that you had one lol. Sounds like nice meaningful tattoos!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Thanks but I waited for 54 years before having them done.
        I would like to have another with a compass pointing true North with the North star and the East and Western points coming out as the balances of a scale and the 2 baskets with the words Justice and Mercy βš–οΈ

        Like

  2. Sighs. Wow, but it’s the truth a lot of folks have believed they are unlovable because folks closer to them told them so. But it’s a choice just as you said to choose to love you and embrace your uniqueness and allow new folks love you likewise.
    I always say, if you don’t learn to love you, no matter how much anyone else tries to love you, you wouldn’t appreciate it. So yes the loving should spring from you. It’s within – out!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It’s an epidemic? Jeez. I’m oblivious to so many things that others around me experience! I’ve just been so isolated and shielded from most of society for a long time! But I still ‘miss’ a lot anyway. I’ve experienced not loving myself last year and half of the year before, but most of my life I haven’t had this issue. Yet I can clearly see how in so many aspects society is set up to punish us and tell us we’re stupid all the time, especially at school.

    I feel lucky because I view so much of life through the lens of something biggerβ€” our place in the universe and in time, and it makes all the difference in the world. And I’m able to do That because I’ve retained my childlike curiosityβ€” in fact it’s only flourished and I’ve become more curious over time. If we can nurture curiosity that’s a VERY powerful and self-worth-boosting thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great message! It’s so much easier to tell someone else not to be so hard on themselves but when it comes to us, we’re our own harshest critic. Thanks for the reminder.

    Liked by 2 people

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