Mean Girl Moment

Yesterday, I had to put my inner mean girl on time out.

I have a teenage daughter, and so a couple of years ago we watched the movie ‘Mean Girls’ together – no judgement, please 😛
There was much discussion before, during, and after the movie – and now sometimes we’ll refer to a particular behaviour or situation by saying, ‘Nope, don’t be a mean girl’!

Now, I’d like to say that I do not have a mean bone in my body – that I am ALWAYS kind and never cruel. I’d like to say it… but it wouldn’t be true.

But I really am not an unkind and cruel person.

Except to myself, sometimes.

And I know I am not alone. And that it’s not just a girl thing.
Each and every one of us are hard on ourselves at some stage or another, for a variety of reasons. It may be due to the past and limiting beliefs or words spoken over you; it may be due to your present situation and someone who perhaps said something; it may be due to ‘thoughts of the future’ that have overwhelmed you and suddenly make you feel ‘useless’. (I have also had to learn to correctly identify the moments where I should be hard on myself – because there are times when that is applicable too!)

But whatever the reason, we’ll turn that ‘mean girl’ behaviour on ourselves.

As we grow in grace (being merciful and charitable and kind), and focus on learning a ‘better way’ to deal with certain things, and start to be able to apply all these things more often, the ‘mean girl/boy’ moments become less frequent.

Because we need to learn how to show ourselves a little grace, even in a world where we are told that we are not good enough for whatever reason – the same way we would towards someone we love dearly and don’t want to see them tormenting themselves.
And it isn’t easy.

Yesterday, I overwhelmed myself – by myself. I was digging a hole with my thoughts, pondering all the wrong things – and instead of using the sand I was digging to create a new pile to get me out of the hole, I was sidestepping and spreading that sand everywhere…. and so my hole just kept getting deeper.

My response to it all was natural – I got even more frustrated, angry, and despondent. With myself. Sigh! 

The good news is this : there is always hope. Even when me is being mean to me 😛

Some days, reigning in our thought processes and changing them requires us to take action – and not just in our minds.
I looked in the mirror, and said out loud, ‘Mean girl, you need to go find something else to do.’
And then I sat down at my desk and grabbed a pen and paper.

I started to make a list of the little things – the GOOD things, the small achievements, the small victories. And then I started to dig a little deeper, and I looked back at my past – but only to see how far I have come. Here I was able to list ‘bigger things’. And you know where I ended up? Stuck in gratitude. And making a new list of those little, and big things (to me, the way I perceive them) of all that there is to be saying thank you for.

It sounds like such a silly thing – but you know what? It made me feel heaps better! And I climbed out of my hole 😉

These ‘silly things’ make great (and healthy) coping mechanisms in life.

So if your mean girl/boy is telling you something today, and it’s making you feel downright rotten, then please take a moment and start making a little list of your own! Every little bit counts ❤

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