Tired Talk

Most of my day yesterday was consumed with ‘dementia talk’. Six phone calls – three of which lasted only five minutes. The other three were each almost an hour. It was mentally and emotionally draining.
There are also committee issues within the housing complex where I live, and so the interruptions because of that were also rather stressful. (I am not on the committee, but am starting to feel like they should just get it over with and appoint me 😛 except I don’t want to be on the committee! 😛 )

By 20:00, my brain felt like it was shutting down. I was tired. Just. so. darn. tired.

And so I just stopped.

I sat down on the edge of my bed, closed my eyes, and did nothing but breathe. In for five seconds, hold it for five seconds, out for five seconds. I stopped after about ten because it made me lightheaded 😛
But because I was so busy counting in my head, nothing else was boggling my brain.
I felt a bit calmer when I was done. And all the noise in my head had also quieted to a point that I was able to calmly process all that had happened during the day.

I weeded out the unnecessary, and focused on the parts that actually mattered.
I was then able to determine which things I could actually do something about, and which things I had no control over.
It’s taken me years of practice, but I am definitely a lot better these days at being able to accept that when it comes to the things I can’t control, I need to let them go. And by letting them go I mean this : they’re still there, in my mind and who knows what they’re doing subconsciously….
But consciously? I know I cannot change them. I have accepted that. I need to shift my focus and move away from them.
It’s not always easy… but to keep trying to fix things that I have no control over? Well, it just makes me miserable and frustrated, and I don’t like feeling that way.
Doing all that left me with only two things that need to be attended to today.

The rest of today will probably look something like this … 😉

I need to consciously make this an EVERY DAY thing…

And perhaps one day I’ll get them ALL right 😉

Here’s hoping you are able to strive for the above too. Here’s hoping you all have a great day! And don’t forget to breathe! 😉

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