An old Western, of sorts!

They say that the ‘art of writing is in the rewriting’. If this were 100% correct, then the blog post I will be publishing should be a masterpiece worthy of an award. Ha ha!
I have worked on this post (written, deleted, rewritten) for almost four weeks now! Goodness gracious me! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

I’ve now reached the point of no return – I need to publish something, and so here it is. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. (She tips her hat, loops her thumbs in her leather belt, and puts one cowgirl boot forward. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

It’s been just over three months since my last blog post. That’s just sad! I didn’t realise it had been that long. And yet… at the same time… so much has happened in that ‘short space of time’ that it feels longer.

Long story short? (When have I ever managed to use less words when telling a story, ha ha?!? I’ll do my best here though…)

I’ve been extremely ill. And many will mutter ‘over exaggeration’, and that’s okay because even now when I think of it, it seems unreal that that is what I was reduced to! There were entire days where even getting to the bathroom seemed impossible, let alone trying to get my brain to focus!
I went from Severe Bronchospasm, to Bronchial Pneumonia, then Pneumonia, and throw in some Pleurisy too. Along the way (at the beginning, with sufficient time in between) I had two Covid tests, but both were negative.
Blood tests about 4 weeks ago (because I just wasn’t recovering) showed that I had indeed had Covid, and the conclusion was that I now have Long Covid. Up until the point of the tests, the fatigue (coupled with the chronic fatigue that I already suffer from) was debilitating, to say the least. Thankfully, treatment has been adjusted, and I can make it through a good few hours before I feel like my whole being will shut down.
The ‘Porridge Brain/ Brain Fog’ is something else… especially for someone like me! If you love to read, like I do, you will understand my pain when I say : I could not even read half a page in my book! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
And apparently I have developed asthma!

The GOOD news is that I am definitely recovering! So, my beautiful blogging world, you’ve not heard the last of me yet! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I already know that what I am about to type now is going to hurt me somewhere deep inside, and the tears will fall uncontrollably as I type, and I will have to stop to try and settle myself, so that I can see the keyboard and screen, and get through this.
I feel my chest tightening already, and I am struggling to swallow the lump rising in my throat. I am actually feeling physical pain, as if my heart is breaking all over again ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Five weeks and one day ago, at 2:10pm, my beautiful big companion and very best friend (my boy, Toffee Dog, who I blogged about here, and have mentioned countless times along the way) collapsed. I had to rush him to the vet, somehow knowing that ‘this was it’. I still don’t know how I drove us there safely, and made it home safely. Because I sobbed, both ways. You’d need to read the blog post, and perhaps try to understand (draw on your sympathetic and understanding part of your mind), in order to appreciate the drastic impact this had on me.
Honestly, it was the hardest goodbye of my life thus far.
(He had a brain tumour.)
And true to being a psychologists nightmare (which I often declare that I am, ha! ๐Ÿ˜› ) I still struggle to say the above out loud, and my composure still shatters, five weeks and one day later, when I think about him too much!
So… now that you have confirmed your suspicions that I am a special kind of crazy (I am smiling with my tears) let’s move on, shall we?

I’ll leave you with some good ๐Ÿ˜‰

In the three+ months that I have been M.I.A from WordPress, despite physical and emotional pain, each and every day has given me an ‘in your face’ moment of gratitude. Something good has happened (albeit something small most days) in a way that I have been unable to overlook! An email; a message on my phone; assistance in some way (a meal delivered, my kids helping with the housework) – all things that brought a smile and a whispered ‘thank you’ to my lips.
All things that equate to acts of love.
Love that fanned the flame of hope, so that even if it wanted to, it could not die.

May hope spring eternal for all of you, every day, in some way!
Please don’t forget that the world needs someone like YOU, and you are loved!
โค

Thank you for reading. โค Here’s to me writing to you all again soon ๐Ÿ˜‰

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10 thoughts on “An old Western, of sorts!

  1. You’ve been missed. I’m so sorry for the loss of your fur-baby, I know how hard that is. I’m so sorry you had covid, but I am glad you are on the mend. Hope to read more of your humorous posts soon, but in the meantime take care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lots of love and best wishes for a full and complete recovery albeit I know that it may take some time, I have to admit that you being 1 of the blogs that I follow moreso because of your honesty, sincerity and love and willingness to see the good in others, I have to admit that I have missed your inspiration and guidance and was quite concerned about you.
    I am glad that you are back and look forward to seeing more of your posts in the future.
    I am deeply sorry for the loss of your dog and I hope that you will find comfort and peace safe in the knowledge that you were loved and that you loved.
    Missed you and wishing you all the best for the future.
    Much love, hugs and blessings. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so sorry Meg! Long Covid, and your dear Toffolux passing so suddenly! ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

    Im glad to hear that you have help there too… Living with this makes life difficult. I wish for you to recover. It’s a long, slow, and frustrating disease. It can hit in waves. Some days are worse. Some hours of the day are worse. It took me a long time to write this because my brain feels like swiss cheese at times.

    I’m grateful to have you back, even though you are suffering so… I have missed you. โค๏ธ

    Burn the disease away with that famous sunshine of yours.๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, dear Reilly! โค

      As for living with Long Covid and that part of your comment? YES YES YES! It amazes me how little people seem to know about it though, and the lack of compassion for those of us suffering through it is astonishing! I've been called a liar, told I am overexaggerating, accused of making excuses. And I typed the same thing in my comment on your post : it takes forever to write just this damn comments! To gather thoughts and piece them together using words in an effort to make sense! Sheesh! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
      It's so frustrating and annoying, and it's an emotional AND physical pain.
      I guess people won't understand it until they experience it for themselves…. but I find myself hoping that they don't have to!

      I have to admit that there are days where I am 'cloudy with a chance of rain' instead of 'sunny with the occasional cloud', ha ha! But remember, the sun is always there… sometimes it's just taking cover behind a cloud ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Hold on to your sun too, Reilly! It's still there! โค

      Liked by 1 person

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