Thoughts Doing Love

That really is how it sometimes goes! 😛 There are even times where I find myself nodding in agreement when I see this :

I remember a conversation with someone a couple of years ago where they made a comment : ”you sure do think a lot!” It was said as a tease, based on the topic we were discussing, and there was not a single bit of malice in it. But it made me pause for thought later in the day 😛 (I am shaking my head at me too right now, don’t worry, ha ha!)

The question that came to mind as I sat petting my dog was : Am I really a thinker?

Right up until my early thirties, I definitely tended more towards being a doer – often times with not so pleasant consequences. While I knew what my next step was, I usually didn’t think much further than that, and had a tendency to just ‘jump right into’ whatever it was that was going on.
As I’ve said many times, it’s possible that life experience has made me the way I am now : a sudden awakening of age (I’m old before my time 😛 ), a dash of wisdom and an abundance of caution have all resulted in some major changes the last few years – most of which have been positive changes, much to my delight!

But had I really suddenly become a thinker, as opposed to a doer? Had the thoughtful side of me really grown enough to be the dominant part of who I was?

Something else I say often is that I am very glad I am not a cat! The nine lives part is great, I guess… but curiosity apparently kills the cat – and I am a little too curious by nature! Ha ha! 😉

Curiosity got the better of me this time again, and off I went to do a little bit of personal research! (Because I am not a cat, and therefore I did not die 😛 )

I was so surprised at all the information out there – www. you did it again! 😉

Apparently ‘are you a thinker’ falls into all sorts of different categories, and is based upon what the comparisons are. For example : if the choice is between a thinker or a feeler, then I am a feeler, and not a thinker! (Which shouldn’t surprise anyone, ha ha!) But apparently you get thinking feelers too!

I discovered, to my surprise, that I was indeed much more of a thinker than I thought 😛 and that although I was still a doer, my mind won hands down! I found it interesting that being a thinker has its own classifications too! And my end result of that was this :

My natural thinking style leans most strongly towards being both a connector and a coach! As a connector, I like to build and strengthen relationships, bringing people together around shared interests and for mutual benefit. And as a coach, I like to work with people one-one-one, helping them see their potential, overcome barriers and achieve their dreams.
I am also classified as an ‘Intuitive Thinker’. Inner knowledge is apparently what I draw from to guide me. I process information and facts, but ultimately rely on intuition to make decisions and choices. I’m creative, imaginative and emotional – and I can’t be confined to the limitations of logic. I draw on past experiences to develop foresight.

Upon further exploration I was extremely amused to learn that intuitive thinking is a mystery to the science world, but that scientists believe that it happens in a region of our brain that is close to the pineal gland (lines up with the middle of your forehead between your eyebrows).
Two sources of amusement : I am a scientific mystery – insert a VERY loud laugh here! – and I may have discovered the source for one of these daily headaches of mine 😛
(I am convinced my offspring cause two of the others I experience 😛 )

All of the above may or may not be correct. As far as I know, I am not part of a scientific experiment and there has been no major testing done on my brain 😛
It could all be true though – especially since I know within myself that a lot of it really is me! That whole ‘I definitely identify with this’ thing that we so often experience in life! (As well as the : ‘how do they know me so well’ aspect 😛 )

Two reasons for this blog post : The first being that I happened to find my notes on all of the above tucked away in the back of a book I just pulled from my bookshelf for a reread (the book, in case you are interested, being : Motive, by Jonathan Kellerman – how funny that I stuck those notes in a book with that title! – well, funny to me, anyway – ha ha ha!)

The second being a theme I have noticed so far in this New Year. We’re only on the sixth day of January, and I have been asked three times by three individuals who have no connection to each other : So, Meg, what are you going to DO in 2022?
To the one I replied stating a goal/dream that I have for this year, and they said ”great, are you doing what you need to in order to achieve it?” (In case you are wondering, yes…. I am. The parts I can do, and can control – the rest is requiring a lot of patience! Ha ha!)
To another, the flippant response ‘same procedure as every year, James’… (if you have not watched Dinner for One, you might want to – I know I laugh, every time! And it’s only the introduction that is in German – the rest is English 😉 ) Their reply? Noooo…. you need to add some excitement to your to DO list!

By the third, I had carefully considered this whole DOING thing, and I replied : I am going to love more. (kindness, compassion, mercy, patience, honesty)
The response was a sweet laugh, and ”Oh Megs, but that’s not doing anything! You know what I mean!”

And I smiled and simply said, ”Believe me, it’s DOING a lot of things. Love needs action. I can’t help everyone all the time, but I am sure as heck going to put more effort into helping those I can, and DOING practical things along the way!”

(Speaking of which, I am supposed to be DOING my children’s laundry right now 😛 )

The little things make big things happen, remember?
So here’s hoping you will all join me and let’s DO something together to be that change we want to see in this world! ❤

I THINK I need another cup of coffee before I DO the washing 😛 😉

Pressure to Perform

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This happens to me pretty much every morning. Most of my days are usually quite productive though, but I never seem to get through ALL I would like to accomplish on any particular day. Some say that this is because I set ridiculous expectations of myself when it comes to ‘things I need to do’. I like to say that when it comes to what I do each day, I like to make every day a Norman Vincent Peale day! Every morning, with my first big, beautiful cup of coffee, I think about what I’d like to achieve. And although I accept the realities, I still list those many tasks. I shoot for the moon, and then every night I smile contentedly because I know I have at least landed among the stars! (Yes, my house has a roof and no, I don’t live in the sky 😛 )

Admittedly, a lot of these beautiful early morning coffee goals for the day end with me feeling something like this :

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This is partly because of all the running I do. No, not running as in exercise. I don’t run. I don’t even jog. So if you ever see me running, you should run too, because that means something is chasing me.

(I don’t know who originally came up with that quote, but according to the hyperlink it was Kristen Proby. It seems it was used in her book, and the name of the character who said it? Meg! Although that Meg is described as a sexy rocker chick 😛 but having the same name still makes it mighty coincidental 😉 )

By running, I actually mean driving around in my car for what I count as too many hours in my day, playing Mom’s Taxi. There’s the school run, and then there’s the extra curricular activities run. During the extra run, I usually end up hanging around in my car for a couple of hours. I live about 20 minutes away from where her activity takes place, but fuel (like everything else) is very expensive, and I don’t see the sense of driving back and forth in such a small time frame. My daughter is a dancer – she has been chosen three years in a row now to represent our country at World Champs. So I guess I’m a dance mom (just nothing like what you see on that show!) The joke in our studio is that we all ‘live in our cars’.
(We have a non-existent public transport system, and the little of it that exists is far too dangerous to even consider.)
So from the list, I usually select things that I can do from the discomfort of my car.

The reason I am telling you all of this (other than the fact that these were a collection of Facebook pictures I had liked and saved, and discovered and was amused at how they all kind of fit together?)…..

These days there seems to be a lot of pressure to perform. Whether it’s as complex as achieving some greatness and stature in our careers, or as simple as being a ‘better, closer to perfect’ parent, the stresses that come from this overwhelming pressure can be detrimental to our health.
The sad thing is that it is not only society or other individuals that put this pressure on us. We have a tendency to do it all by ourselves, to ourselves.
We push ourselves into overachiever mode, in an attempt to do more and be more. For me personally, this is related to the fact that I am often told I can’t, I won’t, I don’t.
And so there is this itch inside me that often causes an ‘overdrive’ scratch…. the results are usually less than desirable, and I wind up in a place that is nowhere near the achievement goal I had set out for myself.
I don’t go into overdrive as often as I used to, thank goodness.

I have learnt that my brain has limitations and that sleep is necessary. I can never be effective if I am dead on my feet.
I have learnt that it is sometimes necessary to take a step back when I am feeling stressed. To breathe deeply and think carefully. And use the energy that stress can create in a positive way – controlling the stress instead of allowing it to control me.
I have learnt that having a to-do list and planning ahead in certain circumstances does not make me a nerd, or detract from my spontaneity. Instead it prepares me and creates a better environment in which to perform.
I have learnt that sometimes acknowledging the small wins can open doors to greater things.
My biggest obstacle, I know, is to ask for help. When there is pressure to perform, the best thing you can do for yourself, is to ask for help (even if it’s just with menial tasks). For some silly reason (perhaps because I have always been the carer and helper, and it feels weird to ‘have the shoe on the other foot’) I struggle to reach out and ask others for any form of help. I really need to work on that!

I always end my night like this though, no matter how the day behind me unfolded….

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Are there any of these that you struggle with?

 

The Dark Side of Humor

According to ‘some’, it is unfortunate that my children are so much like me. Most disagree though and so the ‘some’ don’t win. Personally, I’m rather relieved that they’re so much like me. Although admittedly there are moments when they terrify me – said tongue in cheek 😉

Like the other night when my daughter sent me this, with the caption, “I’d sleep with one eye open, Mom” :

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If it had come from my 20-year-old son I don’t think it would have bothered me quite so much – which is kind of weird, I know. But my daughter is 13…and she’s a girl…for goodness sake! I placed a bookmark into the spot in a really interesting part of a psychological thriller I was reading, and marched myself to the dining area where I could hear her tapping away on the keyboard.

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Gone

I’ve been gone. Missing in action. Quiet.

And yet, I’ve not been anywhere.

I’m back – or so it feels.

I’ve been through something….I’m still going through something….but I’m still going and that’s the important part, right?

I may write about it sometime….or I may not.

But I’m still here….

Even though I feel that I have been forgotten.

Intro Extro and Balance

Lately I have been struggling with the whole concept of being an introvert or an extrovert. I think this is because I used to be an extreme extrovert, and after a few other ex’s under my belt and years of wisdom added to my youthfulness,  I appear to have switched gears and find myself feeling  like I am more of an introvert.

I’ve done some research, and apparently I am wrong. You see, research indicates that you can’t switch from one to the other. That said, apparently as we get older, we naturally develop certain brain functions, which then result in us become ‘well-rounded’.

In my internet browsing, I found a site (plenty, actually) with questionnaires to indicate whether or not you’re an introvert. My answers below are based on the one you can find here

Do I enjoy having time to myself? Yes.
The strange thing is that up until 3 years ago, I hated it. It distressed me to be ‘by myself’ – even if I had a good book to read. I needed to know that there was someone else around. Nowadays, I look forward to alone-time – and it’s definitely a time to recharge my flat battery. The quiet does me good (although I seem to take longer than most to be fully charged). But I can definitely ‘social’ when I need to.

Do I think best when I’m alone? Sometimes.
This answer is neither here nor there. I suppose it all depends on the thoughts. I do know that I value the input of others, and regularly seek advice (usually from people who I know will not be too disappointed if I don’t do what they think I should do). Some results I simply cannot achieve alone – I know my limitations, and act accordingly – when it comes to thinking, at least. 😉

Can I only lead when a group are self-starters? No.
If it’s one thing I haven’t lost from my childhood, it’s the ability to lead. I wouldn’t say I am always a good  leader but I have great leadership qualities…..no matter who might be a part of the target group.

Do I raise my hand last when something is required from a group? Yes.
Sadly, my days of volunteering and taking on a multitude of tasks that utterly overwhelm me and end in great distress, are over. I still volunteer for various activities – sometimes even without being asked – but again, I know my limitations.

Do other people ask for my opinion? Sometimes.
It depends on the people. My brother used to have a poster of a huge orang-utan that said, “If I want your opinion, I will beat it out of you”. So he never asked for mine, and I doubt he ever will. But others have been known to come to me – when I answer my phone or open the door, that is 😛 (Just kidding – no, really. I DO answer!)

Do I often wear headphones in a public situation? No.
For others? I don’t judge. But for me, personally, I would feel like I was being rude. (And besides, they’d mess up my hair)

Do I prefer not to engage with people who are angry and upset? No.
I have a teenage son. Enough said. 😉

While I am not confrontational, I don’t like for people to be angry OR upset, and so will do my best to step in and assist, if that’s what they want.

Do I get more calls, texts and emails than what I make? Yes.
And I’m not counting all the junk mail that comes in – how do these people find me!!??!!

Do I initiate small talk with sales people and people with whom I have casual contact? Yes.
This is actually a big ‘yes’. A trip to the local supermarket for just bread and milk is usually a half hour affair. There’s the man who packs the shelves, who shows me the latest pictures of his niece and chats about the antics of the world of children; the manager on duty who I stop to chat to about how their day is going and offer a little encouragement (and a laugh if it’s particularly bad); the cashier who I chat to about the weather, and various other small talk items.

Then there’s always the ‘other person in the queue’ etc. etc.

I smile a lot. And yes, I am chatty to a certain degree. I exhaust myself sometimes! 😛

All in all, I have four yes answers; two sometimes answers and three no answers. When I think about it, I appear to be somewhat balanced, and well-rounded (and I don’t just mean my figure 😛 ).

My goodness, I AM getting older. 😛 😉