Today’s Day

It would be remiss of me to not write a blog post about what day it is today. For it happens to be…

STAR WARS DAY

I was reminded of this by the above picture in a Facebook post that a friend of mine shared.

Star Wars was not a part of my childhood, Star Trek was – when I was able to sneakily watch episodes with my dad. (And oddly enough, as a little girl, I wanted to marry Captain Pickard and not Riker. 😛 )

My father remarried the year I turned eighteen. I gained a British Mum, and four step siblings. I also gained Star Wars.

My stepbrother was in his teens – the only boy of the four – and I somehow doubt he was very amused by yet another female in the house when I went to visit. His amusement turned to horror when he discovered that his stepsister had never watched Star Wars.
”How did you get to be eighteen and you don’t know anything about it?”

He remedied that. Over and over. And over again.

In the month that I was with them, he and I had five (if I remember correctly) Star Wars movie marathons, because of course he had the VHS box set. And I loved every minute. This time, I chose Yoda (the little dude pictured above) as my husband 😛

Star Wars, for me, is not just about the movies. It’s about cherished moments spent with a ‘new sibling’ which gave us a common ground. (Our mutual love for Mr. Bean helped too!)

Now, if you haven’t watched Star Wars (and you’re HOW old?? 😛 ) then you may not be familiar with one of the famous lines : May the Force be with you – now you see why ‘May the Fourth’ works so well 😉

Interestingly enough though, “May the Fourth be with you” was first used by Margaret Thatcher’s political party to congratulate her on her election on May 4th, 1979.

This morning, I think this was me….

I sure hope my coffee kicks in soon! 😛

If you want to read some great Star Wars quotes, you can take a gander here.
I’ll end with this quote : “Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future… but not at the expense of the moment.”
Qui Gon Jinn

May you all see the good in the moments of TODAY… and may the fourth be with you 😉

Whether the weather

Today’s post is not one of inspiration or motivation – it’s more just a fun rendition of our weather the last few days 😉
They say that South Africa has one of the best climates in the world. While I was ‘made in South Africa’ 😛 I don’t think I was made FOR it! And many will be shocked by my next statement – the seven months I was in the UK? One of my favourite things was the weather!
Sadly, somehow I avoided snow when I was there.
But I still think my body was built for cooler temperatures! 😛 😉

My body definitely is not built for humidity! And I think if I could get past that, I might actually be more inclined to enjoy Summer. I am NOT enjoying Summer so far – and next month is usually our ‘worst’ month. :/

There is a saying around here – ‘hot enough to fry an egg on the bonnet of a car’. I’m starting to think I should try that 😛 I think that yesterday might have been one of those days!

Only about 70% of our shops/businesses have air conditioning. Houses? Maybe 10%, if that. Most bed and breakfasts/guesthouses/hotels have got though. I should have booked myself into one yesterday 😛

Yesterday was one of those ‘can’t breathe, can’t think’ heat days.
By lunchtime, it was 36 degrees celsius (96.8F) – not too bad, right? Except the humidity was at 91%. And on the odd occasion that the wind decided to stir, it was a warm one.

(Apparently this made some people reconsider their religious views 😛 I had an old school mate post on her Facebook status : ”I need to get my butt back into church – I ain’t gonna make it in hell”! 😛 )

All jokes aside though, it was AWFUL. Scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, the complaints were endless… especially since our beaches are closed at this stage of the pandemic. (At the moment, even walking along the road near the beach will get you a fine – you are not allowed to be walking within 100m – 328 feet – from the beach because then you are considered ON the beach?!?!?) Anyway…..

In the midst of scrolling, my aunt in Wales saw that I was online, and sent me a short message… in which she complained about the cold. And I laughed so much! In return, I told her about our heat…. and she decided she’d rather be where she is with her central heating 😛

And she reminded me of a story about my dad! My dad loves hot stuff – curries and foods that make him sweat. (When my son was 4, he wanted to know what Grandpa ate that made his forehead cry!!! 😛 )
One year, while on a road trip, my dad bought himself a jar of homemade Atchar (A South Asian pickle, known as achar, aachar, athanu, achaar or loncha, is a pickled food, native to the Indian subcontinent, made from a variety of vegetables and fruits, preserved in brine, vinegar, or edible oils along with various Indian spices). The jar label said it was ‘very hot’, with a picture of a chilli.
At that time, I was staying with him (I was about 14), and that evening he added some to the mince pasta I had cooked for us. He had one mouthful and it wasn’t just his forehead that cried! Ha ha ha ha!
Upon another inspection of the label, we both laughed. We had read the product as being : Hot-A-Shell
It was actually Hot-As-Hell! 😛 (Written on the label : Hotashell)

Did you know that laughter makes you hotter? 😛

I cannot even begin to explain how happy and relieved I was at 21:00 last night. The weather suddenly shifted – in fact the wind that came out of nowhere even scared my dogs for a brief moment! And it was a COOL wind! Distant rumblings of thunder promised rainfall! I think my heart even skipped a beat it was so happy! 😛 I got up, and took the dogs with me outside, just to feel the cool. I even got some raindrops! It was WONDERFUL!

And I guess there IS some inspiration in this 😛 😉

I found this picture on Pinterest….

Not even the weather 😛

And I remembered this little ‘tongue twister’ I recited years ago, in Junior school,

Whether the weather be fine, or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, or whether the weather be hot, We’ll weather the weather, whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not.”

May you all continue to whether the weather – may your storms pass, and your joy last 😉

Kid memory

I was watching a movie last night and there was a line in it that suddenly made me laugh out loud. It wasn’t funny by any means, and the movie was pretty serious too – but it sparked something in my memory for some odd reason. And I laughed a little too long at that memory – because perhaps that was what I needed.

It isn’t even really that funny, when I think about it now. But I thought I’d share it anyway, because it’s quite sweet… and we could all use some sweetness and a smile 😉

When I was 9 or 10, my mother owned a day care centre in collaboration with her church. It was open for about three years – until the church decided to do something else with the building in which it was housed.
I would visit there in the afternoons after school – and I loved the little kids. Their age ranges were 2 to 6, and so some of them were not that much younger than me.

But I have always been an old soul, and thinking back now, I feel like I was so much older than them. My brothers were 9 and 11 years older than me, and I sometimes think I grew up as a mini adult. I don’t know.

But I know I was very fond of those little kids, and loved reading to them, and drawing with them, and caring for them.

Duane was one of my favourites – we’re now Facebook friends, ha ha ha!
Back then, he was four years old, and he was the cutest little thing with the chubbiest cheeks I had ever seen. He put those chubby cheeks to good use. Duane loved after lunch nap time. He was always the first one asleep, and the last one to wake up… often needing to be woken. He loved nap time so much that he’d store the last two mouthfuls of food in his cheeks, just so that he could be excused from the table to do his quick bathroom visit and then go to his little mattress and pillow. I think he chewed and swallowed while in the bathroom. But one day, he was so tired, that he seemed to have forgotten. They’d had grapes at the end of the meal, and he kept one in either cheek. He fell asleep like that though! Thankfully, he didn’t choke. Instead, almost as soon as he was asleep, his mouth opened and they popped out onto his pillow. They were discovered as the assistant teacher made her rounds to cover the children with blankets and my mother was called. After that, little Duane’s cheeks were checked before he left the table!

But that’s not the story I wanted to share 😉

Ross was three (almost four at the time of the story I want to share) years old, and small for his age. He had big brown eyes, and sandy brown hair that was growing out past his ears, and he also sported a very straight, very thick, floppy fringe (bangs). He was very well behaved and a lot quieter and gentler than the other boys. And he had a lisp, which made him even cuter.
One day, as the assistant teacher, Pam, was tidying the bookshelf, little Rossi (that’s what we called him – no relation to Valentino 😛 ) came sidling up to her. He watched, and then helped with the lower shelf. When all the books were neatly put back in place in that shelf, Rossi stood up, put his hands on his hips and let out an enormous sigh. Pam turned to face him, and smiling down at him she said,
“And now, Rossi? What’s your case?”  (the line from the movie)

Rossi’s brown eyes widened and he suddenly look very confused. In his soft little voice he replied,
”But Aunty Pammie, you know my cathe. It’th the one with the red and white thtripeth!”

And his school suitcase was, indeed, the one with the red and white stripes. Pam started laughing, and gathered him up in a hug. Then she sat him down and explained what she had meant, and he laughed too, stating, ”I’m a thilly banana and I’m not even yellow!”

So it’s just a quick share…. but I felt it worthy 😉 Here’s hoping you at least smiled 😉

Be safe everyone!

 

Versatile Blogger Award

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I know it sounds really cheesy, but I absolutely love all these awards. When I get tagged in one though, my mouth goes dry and my first thought is, ”Oh gosh, am I going to be able to do this one any justice?”

I overthink them. Because at the end of the day, it’s an honour that someone thought of me, and all they’re really asking is for me to be honest and share small pieces of me. So I really shouldn’t feel threatened, because we all know that I happily overshare 😛

This particular award stands for the following :

“When you consider nominating a fellow blogger for the Versatile Blogger Award, consider the quality of the writing, the uniqueness of the subjects covered, the level of love displayed in the words on the virtual page. Or, of course, the quality of the photographs and the level of love displayed in the taking of them.”

And we all know how completely random I can be 😛 😉

The Rules:

Thank the person who nominated you.
Link to the blog of the person who nominated you.
Share 7 facts about yourself.
Nominate 15 more bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award.

A big thank you to jesusluvsall for the nomination – while the essence of his blog truly is about his faith and helping others, you can find a wide variety of everyday life there, from music to his struggles with chronic illness. Definitely worth taking a look 😉

7 facts about me is actually quite difficult, because I overshare, so you know a lot anyway 😛 I’m trying to come up with things you don’t know… and it’s tougher than I thought. So I popped off some messages to my friends (two of which are my neighbours) and asked them to tell me one thing about me that I could share. So here are their replies :

  1. I often send random messages to friends asking their opinion on something to do with me – in an effort to understand and grow. Like I have, out of the blue, asked before : please send me three good qualities you think I have, please send me three bad qualities you think I have, what would you say is my best physical feature, etc etc etc.
  2. I love to spend a cool afternoon, seated in the dirt, weeding my garden (but I don’t have a green thumb!!!).
  3. I greet pets before I greet their owners (first time I have actually realised that I DO do this….apparently it isn’t a problem…but I still feel a little bit guilty – I should probably be more conscious of that!)
  4. I have bitten my nails down to the quick since I was a child. I’ve only ever grown my own four times in my whole life…I don’t bite them as badly now, but when I do start to then I have to stick on falsies to get me out of the habit for a while.
  5. I’ve never seen snow in real life, and talk incessantly about wanting to experience a White Christmas, and I don’t just mention that at Christmas time, apparently.
  6. I am so obsessed with butterflies, and anything purple, that my friends think of me constantly when they see either thing. It makes me very easy to buy gifts for too 😉 (My friend has a 7 year old son who calls me, ”Aunty Butterfly” 🙂 )
  7. I don’t have tattoo’s, and the fact that I don’t desire to have any is apparently strange. (it’s not a biblical thing, I just don’t want them?) I got 4 messages back stating this fact, so clearly it makes me a little weird 😛

 

I am supposed to nominate 15 bloggers. I’m going to break the rules here. I’m nominating every person who takes the time to read my blog…. and you really need to check out the people who like and comment on my writing – they have very reading worthy material on their blogs. And although a lot of them try to stick to a theme, if you read their posts, you will see little bits of versatility in there 😉

(Although not everyone overshares like I do 😛 *covering my face with my hands*)

And then just for fun, I’m going to post a pic that I saw this morning and had a good giggle at :

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I Need A Man

So now that I have your attention *ahem* it’s not what you think 😛

  1. There is a plug that needs changing in my house
  2. I am not a useless woman

While I am great at dangling precariously from ladders to change light bulbs in my ridiculously high ceilings (it doesn’t help that I am quite short), and while I have managed to fix my drainpipe with some ‘super tape’ and loads of instructions from the guy at the hardware store; I have never learnt to change a plug.

Google is great, and I know I could learn. But I don’t want to.

You see, I don’t mind being a woman. Or actually even being considered ”useless”, to a point. While I agree that feminists have it right in some aspects, I’m not a great advocate for feminism as such. I actually like the fact that there are some things that men ‘are supposed to’ do.

Society is very different these days. As are the general opinions. And we’re all raised different ways. I was raised that the man is the head of the home, so long as he submits himself to God. (Yip, Christian upbringing – which came with its own trials and tribulations) I was raised in such a way that the man was the provider, and the protector. That it was his responsibility to carry the burdens of the household. And in a lot of ways, I view that as correct, and possibly incorrect. But…

My own experience may have warped that thinking all together.

When my son was eight and a half, and my daughter was just twenty months, I became a single mom in every sense of the word. I initiated it because there were no longer any other options available to me – unless I was ready to welcome death. Full on parenthood of both sexes was NOT on my agenda, however. Long story short, after failing at every other option he thought was available to him, he settled on, ”If you divorce me, I will never see the children again and you will suffer for it.” And no amount of counselling or help changed his mind. So at those young ages, that was the last time my children heard from and saw their father.

And suddenly everything was my responsibility. There were no weekends off, and co-parenting was non-existent. At that stage in my life, I was pretty clueless about a lot of things because I had always been a girly-girl. I had to learn about home maintenance in a hurry, and how to be a good mom, and dad. Discipline became that much more difficult, as did dealing with all the emotions of both genders of children. I was now the sole breadwinner, provider and protector in every sense of the word (I never got maintenance out of him – long story, big battle). He passed away last year and there was nothing for either of the children. In fact, I heard of his passing purely by accident. Such is life.

It took four years to get back in the dating game. It was a disaster. I don’t blame the men entirely – I had done divorce recovery courses, but I wasn’t healed…not that I knew that at the time. I made a lot of mistakes in those dating years, and I paid dearly with the last one, because I had never fully healed. 

I had to pay a huge price for it, but finally full healing began. That intense pain and traumatic experience was the catalyst for mind blowing change, and a form of rebirth. Proof that even the most negative experiences can have very positive outcomes!

Anyway… when my daughter was 10, I was asked on a date by an attractive man I had got to know through friends. And for the first time in a long time, I found myself actually considering it. My son was non-committal when it came to his opinion on this – he didn’t mind either way, apparently. My daughter was rather vocal.

“But you don’t need to date anyone, we’re perfect like we are. We don’t need anyone else.”

The full impact of her words never hit me till later, even though for years my children had been giving me Mothers AND Fathers Day cards filled with appreciation.
I actually wasn’t failing them the way I thought I was – I wasn’t a struggling single mom. They were happy and secure despite the fact that they only had me.

I rejoined the dating world anyway, and BOY, HAD IT CHANGED! I made it through first dates just fine, and always got a second one. But there was never a third. Completely my own fault. And yes, here it comes….
some brutal honesty regarding a taboo subject : S E X. 
There seems to be this trend that when you’re a mature adult, you’re considered a consenting adult, and none of the normal rules of dating apply. Thus the expectation of an exchange of bodily fluids by date number three. UGH! What?!?!?!

(While I have no issue with the exchange itself and have always found it rather enjoyable, I am very much a relationship kind of girl and stuff like that needs to wait. Sorry fellas!)

(side note : not all men are like this – I just haven’t found the ones I have come into physical contact with to be different.)

When discussing this with a close girl friend, who has been in a committed relationship for over four years now after going through her own divorce and jumping back on the bandwagon a little faster than me, she suggested to me that possibly I was meeting the wrong type of men. It was a subtle hint from her to focus only on good Christian men.

Now, let me very clear. THE GOOD GUYS ARE OUT THERE! Do not, for one moment, in your never ending frustrations at not being able to find a mate, doubt that THERE ARE STILL GREAT MEN in this world!

Imagine how disheartened my friend was (as was I at the time) when I shared with her that one of those ‘no third date’ guys was the attractive man that I had spent ages getting to know and called a friend – excited for the possibilities – who happened to be a man who was studying to be a pastor. Sigh.

So I came up with a new motto at that time, about three years ago :

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And what a journey that was! The sudden acceptance of the fact that I was single taught me more things than any romantic relationship ever could. Acceptance brought about a change in my attitude. And it provided me with the time to explore my emotions, my mind, my heart. That exploration was not always pretty – there were some very ugly truths that I needed to accept about myself, and dealing with them – learning about them and changing them – was HARD! My childhood and past left me with this ‘lonely’ feeling much of the time – but I discovered that being alone didn’t mean I had to be lonely. 

And I discovered that in order to be able to give of myself to anyone, I needed to actually KNOW myself, and love me for what I knew.

(I still fall short with typical female rants of, ”I’m too fat”; “I’m not pretty enough” etc. But not to the degree where I dislike myself like I used to – it’s more of a laughable, ”I’m such a woman” thing 😛 )

AND THEN…

The other day I was scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook, and came across a friend of mine who had played one of those OMG games. Apparently Santa is bringing her ‘the perfect man’ for Christmas. Her caption was, of course, ”Yes please”!

LIGHT BULB MOMENT! (must be the one I changed in the bathroom last week 😛 )

Now we all know that NO ONE is perfect. But I think when people speak of a perfect situation, or the perfect partner for them etc. it’s basically their own personal perception of perfect. And so I don’t criticise my friends when they tell me they have found ‘the perfect man’, because in their perception that may very well be exactly what they have found, for them.

And that got me thinking about MY ‘perfect’ man. And something popped (broken light bulb that needs fixing) in to my head :

My perception of perfection may be what I WANT, but it may not be what I NEED!

In getting to know myself I have learnt that there are a lot of things that I want for life, and from life, but they’re not always the things/tools/equipment that I actually NEED for life. I am continuously given moments where I learn that annoying fact. It’s annoying because I don’t like to be wrong. I like things to be clear and concise.

And this suddenly became an epiphany for me on romance.

I can have my list of all the things that I want in a man. I can seek him out, or check items off the list when he somehow finds me. But at the end of the day, those are things I want and because I am continuously growing and learning, they may not actually be things I need. (And here’s where my Christianity comes into play) God knows what I NEED and in His time, he’ll provide it. And He’ll provide me with discernment with regards to that – I just need to keep asking!

When I shared this with a friend yesterday, she was discouraged by my views. I thought I was being quite positive. I shared the above with her, and ended with, “So if it means I spend the rest of my life single, I’m actually really okay with that.” And I really am. I can’t explain it. I just am.

I am not closing myself off to the potential of a future romantic relationship. I am not in  state of lonely depression. I am not shutting myself off and withdrawing to an unlit room – I know how to change a lightbulb 😛

But I am also not going to chase after what I want, because even in my successes with regards to getting to know myself, what I want may not actually be what I need. So I’m leaving it up to Him.

dating-affirmations

For now it might have to just be my dog – but if you knew my dog, you’d understand that he’s worth it 😛

It might always just be the air – but for the chance to wake up each morning to a new day, and have the love of my life only being the breath that I take – well, that’s pretty much worth it too 🙂

Goodness, this really was a post of ‘relationship randomness’. Here’s hoping someone got something out of it…even if only just a good giggle somewhere along the way 😉

Jail Bail?

Every now and then, I take a break from my usual blog posts and post something lighter and less inspiring, more unusual. This normally contains word definitions or idiom explanations – things of that nature. Today isn’t all that interesting, but I did find it kind of funny 😉
Today was inspired by none other than my 14 year old daughter.

We all know what teens are like. They have their very own language – in fact each generation seems to 😛

Each country too, as a matter of fact. It’s no surprise then that words and expressions used in different countries are, well, different. So I can’t claim what I am about to share next as a guide to ‘teen speak’.
(Interestingly enough, my son’s teen speak was similar to what I grew up with, carrying the same definitions. My, how times have changed in the last seven years!!! Enter my daughter. 😛 )

We got out the car at a local store, and she exclaimed, ”Oh my word, Mom! I need to bail!”

Entering the store, I asked, “Who you hiding from?”

I turned around and was greeted with a blank stare.

A little further into the store, I asked, “Why did you need to bail from the car so fast?”

The total look of confusion on her face told me we weren’t talking about the same thing!

In ‘my days’, bail was pretty much defined as I need to go; bounce; take off. 
My usual go to place when it comes to trying to find the more trendy meanings of words is the Urban Dictionary (although I find the language inappropriate a lot of the time). After checking it now, I see it wouldn’t have helped me this time though anyway since it seems to be in line with my definition. Therefore not cool. Not trendy. “Way back when you were a teen, Mom….”
(It really wasn’t that long ago 😛 )

Seeing her confusion, I naturally asked, “Okay. What does bail mean to you kids then?”

She shushed me, blushed (the cute guy nearby had turned to look our way) and pulled me to a quieter corner of the store. There she stammered out,
“Well…uh… it means to…um….you know? When your undies get…um…..and you need to…um….”

From that completely unhelpful explanation, I somehow got the drift of what she was saying. So I whispered back, “You mean when you get a wedgie and you need to pull your panties back where they belong?” She nodded, shrugged her shoulders, and replied with,

“Yeah, you know, bail.”

I think I am going to have a tough time understanding this new teen speak of our local kids! 😛 😉

Dare to go Bare!

A long time ago, I had closet gremlins. They shrank and stretched all the clothing in my closet – it had nothing to do with me gaining a bit of weight! 😛 Spring was quickly becoming Summer, and I discovered that I had nothing to wear in the all too near humid future. A quick trip to the shops made me gag – prices were sky high and it baffled my brain (and made my bank manager cry)!
Returning home back then, and seeing this on Facebook, made me laugh so hard I think my dog was considering having me committed.

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A few years down the line and I still have closet gremlins – but they appear to have expanded their business and are now in my drawers too. This time, while I was sleeping, they didn’t just shrink my clothing. This time, they came with religion and I discovered a few items that are now HOLeY.

Some of you know how very much I dislike shopping. Yes, last time I checked I was definitely female. I’m just not big on malls and endless hours spent in them.
I go, out of necessity.
And although not quite at emergency status yet, I decided to pop across to the mall close by which has ample parking, is never really too busy, and also sports some of the better priced options.

I’m a little shy to be admitting this, but I needed new underwear (those gremlins really were in my drawers 😛 ) And since I am the only one who actually sees me in my underwear, it should have been a simple visit. I know my size, and I don’t need anything fancy.

I have a young teen as a daughter, and so I am not completely oblivious to the variety out there when it comes to clothing, shoes, underwear etc. I am pretty much ‘kept in the loop’ as to which shop stocks what and what’s trending. Sadly this does not affect my fashion views – I have decided I am too old to wear what is cool, and I prefer to stick with what makes me comfortable.

(Side note : I am not old. Not really, anyway. But I like that I am at an age where I can use this as an excuse when I want to 😉 )

Thanks to knowledge gained from my kid, I knew where it was that I wanted to go.
So I headed straight there, walked in and found exactly what I wanted. Easy peasy. Looking at the price tag, not so easy. Seriously?!?!?! You want me to pay how much for this small piece of material? Is it sewn with gold thread? Have you hidden a diamond in the lining?

Clothing people, everywhere!
Hear my plea!
Perform a public service!
Drop your prices, please!
I need clothing, and underwear.
Spare humanity my nakedness!

The Dark Side of Humor

According to ‘some’, it is unfortunate that my children are so much like me. Most disagree though and so the ‘some’ don’t win. Personally, I’m rather relieved that they’re so much like me. Although admittedly there are moments when they terrify me – said tongue in cheek 😉

Like the other night when my daughter sent me this, with the caption, “I’d sleep with one eye open, Mom” :

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If it had come from my 20-year-old son I don’t think it would have bothered me quite so much – which is kind of weird, I know. But my daughter is 13…and she’s a girl…for goodness sake! I placed a bookmark into the spot in a really interesting part of a psychological thriller I was reading, and marched myself to the dining area where I could hear her tapping away on the keyboard.

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