When I am frustrated…

… I WILL PERSEVERE!

I sometimes sit down and type random word documents ‘to myself’. They’re either part of a bigger picture, or just something that has struck me in the moment. I am currently extremely frustrated (it’s a very long story, ha ha!) and I happened upon this piece that I wrote about 4 years ago….

”Are you a stubborn person? I know I can be. Not all the time, but I have my moments.
Perseverance is stubbornness, with a purpose.
It’s a good kind of stubborn.

Albert Einstein was heard saying that he was not a very smart man – it was just that he ‘stayed with his problems for longer’. In other words he persevered, until he found the answer.
Did you know Walt Disney was turned down 302 times before he got financing for his dream of creating the “Happiest Place on Earth”. Today, due to his persistence, millions of people have shared ‘the joy of Disney’.

Thomas Edison said that many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

You’ve failed many times, although you may not remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim, didn’t you? Did you hit the ball the first time you swung a bat? Heavy hitters, the ones who hit the most home runs, also strike out a lot.

Macy’s – R.H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York caught on.
English novelist John Creasey got 753 rejection slips before he published 564 books.
Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times, but he also hit 714 home runs.

Don’t worry about failure.
Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”

Of late, I find myself waking up each morning to the sound of my alarm, and uttering with a sigh of relief : ”thank goodness I GOT TO WAKE UP this morning!”

The days are incredibly challenging, to say the least. And not just for me, but for so many who I know where the hits just keep coming, and not just ‘the small stuff’ that makes up daily life.

And so… my challenge to myself at the moment is to continue to persevere, to continue to be grateful, and to continue to search for the good, because it is definitely there, in each moment!

My hope for you is that the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT another train coming 😉 Just keep persevering, and may you be rewarded with something good! ❤

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Life goals and Superhero’s

I saw this on me.me, and it made me wonder if I should reassess my life goals. Because apparently, Batman is it!

~ photo credit for the pic below : boredpanda.com ~

I also got it completely wrong! After finding a ‘boyfriend’ to kiss, I completely forgot to jump to step 3! (Must have been some kiss 😛 )

I also found another picture on boredpanda.com, and I laughed out loud :

I remember someone saying to me once, ”don’t take life too seriously, none of us are getting out alive anyway”. It was a quote they had read, and it was said with a wink and a smile.
The other day, as I was reminded of ‘silly life goals that were just plain fun’ when I saw yet another shared meme, I remembered that statement.

There is, indeed, a time for everything. And there always has to be a time to laugh! 😉

But what about serious life goals? (What? Being batman is not serious???? Good grief, Meg! 😛 😉 )

We all know it, but I’ll share it anyway. According to an article on Mindtools.com, the reason why we should set goals is this :

Setting goals gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation . It focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the most of your life.

Have you ever looked at someone, at their life, and thought to yourself, ”They clearly don’t have any goals in life!” Or perhaps you have chatted with them and concluded, ”they really need better goals – they’re not going to get anywhere with those”.
You know what? If you have never thought that way or reacted that way to someone in your head? Then I really take my hat off to you!
Sadly, I have ‘misjudged’ a few people in this way, over the course of my life. 😦

Recently, in my household, we have experienced the ‘Google is listening’ thing that seems to be happening. My son and I will talk about something, and suddenly we’ll start getting ads on our social media about that very thing!
I was comforting my daughter the other night through her heartbreak, and I went on to Facebook a short while later and suddenly a ‘suggested for you’ page popped up with a meme about heartbreak 😮

It seems Google can read my mind too 😮

I was sitting and thinking about this whole ‘life goals debacle’ and picked up my phone to scroll through Facebook, and the third picture I saw was this one :

I read it through a few times. It spoke to my heart in a way I can’t explain. And I shared it to my personal profile, with a caption, adding ” #lifegoals ”

If I have learned anything about myself the last few days, it’s that I have the audacity to believe, and hope, even when things are going wrong… or perhaps I finally have truly lost my mind 😛

Perhaps my life goals as listed above seem insignificant to you. Perhaps they don’t equal your interpretation of success.

But for me? I can think of no better reasons to be considered beautiful.
For me, these are my primary goals in life.
I want to come alive, while I am still alive ❤

Grumpy storms

My friend has a fridge magnet that reads : ”Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and sometimes I let him sleep!”

The first time I saw it on her fridge, I laughed…. just as her husband was entering the kitchen. And the chase was on. I think his intention was to tickle me to death, because ‘how could I agree with her‘! She came to my rescue, and I laughed my way through trying to apologise. Eventually, he agreed – he can be pretty grumpy, ha ha!

Well! The other day, I woke up stormy! And there was NO man in my bed 😛 😉

4:30am, and something disturbed my sleep. I looked at the time, groaned, and closed my eyes again – I still had half an hour to stay in bed! And then I heard it! Not even a rumbling or rolling of thunder. Cracks instead, that sounded like dynamite explosions in the sky! It was terrific, and a little horrific, all at the same time!

I hopped out of bed to get my coffee made, just in case our power went. While waiting for the kettle to boil, I looked out of the window and found myself in awe of the sky! I rushed to my room and grabbed my phone on my way out back – I simply HAD to get a picture!
Sunrise was only at 5:20am. But at 4:45am, this is what the sky looked like! (No edit done on this picture!)

The explosions in the sky got closer and closer, and woke the rest of the household at around 5:30am. My daughter came rushing out of her room, in a flurry of ‘oh my word‘ exclamations. And stopped dead in my doorway. I looked up from my reading and smiled, ”Quite a storm, huh?”
She was baffled! ”How are you and Lily so calm? Sheesh!”

My little dog was curled up, and still fast asleep. As if she didn’t know the storm was even happening around her! I was sipping my coffee, and reading, genuinely not afraid in any way. My daughter shook her head, and then disappeared off to the kitchen to make her toast.

I put down my book, because ‘my day now needed to begin’, and as I readied myself to face it in a way that would make me acceptable to be seen in public 😛 I found myself feeling very thoughtful when considering her words.

We all know that life itself holds plenty of ‘storms’.

The physical storm that we were experiencing in that early morning? I had absolutely no control over it, and I knew I had to wait it out and ‘see what happened’. Summer is coming here, and I know we are in for plenty of really big ones. The knowledge that they are coming, and that they will go (eventually, ha ha!) and that I just need to wait because I can’t do anything about them – something about knowing all that means that even when it sounds so destructive, I have a calm and a peace inside me. I know that sometimes there will be damage done that will need to be dealt with, but that I have to wait till it’s over, and then tackle those things.

It reminded me of this :

And I smiled. I have more work to do 😛

How wonderful if I could apply my reaction to physical storms, to all the other storms I have to face, that are not in my control?

If I look back on my life, the proof is in the pudding – a decadent chocolate one 😛 😉
This too shall pass!
(And hopefully not like a kidney stone 😛 )

I just need to shift my focus more towards the peace and calm 😉

Hoping for peace and calm for all of you, in whatever storms you may be facing right now ❤

a time to laugh…

I shall repeat what I always say… ”We’re all different”… and one of the aspects of that is this : what I think is funny may not even make you smile!
My children regularly come to me crying with laughter about something, and I just can’t feel it 😛 I’ll smile, shake my head, and say, ”nope”.

We all need regular smiling and chuckling time. It really is good for the soul.
I love the laughter that bubbles from deep inside me, and actually ends up giving me a stomach ache.
And you’d be the one shaking your head when you saw me, because you probably wouldn’t find it that funny.
(But you’d end up laughing till you cry… AT ME 😛 /with me 😉 )

This morning, I really needed to smile.

So off I went to my ‘Facebook funnies’ folder on my phone. I decided to share just a few (gosh, who knew I had so many!) with you…

HOPEFULLY there is at least one in here that will make you smile… or even chuckle, as an added bonus 😉

I hope you all have something this weekend that brings you happiness, and a reason to smile and laugh! ❤

Is love invisible?

This is not a romantic post! And in case you’re concerned about me, I am not depressed about being single either! 😛 Sure, it would be nice to have a hand to hold, and a shoulder to lean on… but that’s a whole other post entirely! Ha ha!

I am also not going to focus on the horror that is happening in the world right now! (Who needs Halloween? 😦 )
My mind boggles and my heart actually hurts every time I happen to see something ‘newsy’. Because, truth be told, I am trying really hard to avoid ‘the multitude of hurts out there’. Not because I am trying to hide from it, or deny its existence. Simply because, at this point, it is causing me major distress and far too many tears. Coupled with the frustration of having zero control over any of it, and not being physically ‘in that place’ in order to help in some way. Well… I just need to try and avoid it at the moment.

There have been events this last week that have made me stop.
Sit down, head in my hands, muttering out loud,
”Where is the love? How did we get here? Is it just temporarily invisible or is it gone?”

We see it everyday – impatience and rudeness with cashiers; irritation directed at the mommy who has an unhappy baby while standing in a queue; purposely not allowing someone into the traffic in front of you; avoiding helping others that you really could, because you’re ‘too busy’, or it would inconvenience you.

I think it was Oswald J. Smith who said :
”The heart of the human problem, is the problem of the human heart.”
(I’ve seen it adapted to : the heart of the problem is a problem of the heart.)

For me, it all comes down to love.

The Beatles were right! 😉 LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED!

For me, personally, love covers it all! Love is kindness, it is tenderness, it is patience, it is helpfulness, it is compassion…. and so much more!

I’ve been told way more times than I can count :

”You’re being unrealistic. You’re just a doormat. You deserve to get hurt. You’re idealistic. You’re so sunny, you make me sick.”

And those were from people who supposedly liked me 😛

But, everyone, I see the truth behind those words, and there are times that I need to concede that in a particular situation, they’re probably closer to being right than I am. Sigh.

There are times. But it’s not every time.
And the unfortunate thing is that being this way is what works for me. It’s what keeps me alive, in a way.

Here’s what I know : I can’t change the world. I can’t impact all of it.
In fact, considering how many people there are in this world, I probably won’t be able to positively impact even 1% in my entire lifetime!

BUT when it comes to this? THAT is not going to stop me!

I am still, and always will be, a firm believer in the ‘pay it forward’ effect – even before it was a ‘thing’, it was my belief.
Perhaps it is something unrealistic that I need to hold on to, to keep me going? Who knows! In this instance, I actually don’t really want to know or care about the WHY, I just want to keep doing and being.

My theory is that if I can positively impact one person, they may be encouraged to impact another, and that other may be encouraged to impact someone far removed from me etc.etc.etc.
(Please don’t try and change my mind – this is a worthy theory 😛 😉 )

A silly example : What if that mom in the queue with the crying baby is on the edge, wanting to give up? Perhaps her partner just left her, and she has no family or friends to help her. She’s in that queue, trying to work out in her head if she is going to have enough money to cover the needs her and her baby have in their basket. Her baby is miserable, because, well… teething… except she has been unable to give the poor little one anything because she has run out, and the bread and milk in her basket are unfortunately a higher priority right now.
Perhaps she looks the way she does not because she is on drugs, but because she’s been up most of the night, ran out of coffee a few days ago already, and didn’t have the heart to leave her baby screaming while she took a quick shower. Perhaps she is just exhausted. Broken.
AND THEN, a stranger in the queue in front of her (YOU!) turns around, not to stare with irritation at her crying baby, not to judge her appearance or add to her discomfort, but to smile at them both! To talk softly to baby and try and distract him or her. To tell Mom, ”oh dear, looks like you’re having quite a day!” To start a brief dialogue, that also distracts that Mom.
And perhaps, as she straps baby in, perhaps she feels a slight shift in her hopelessness, because she has remembered that there is still a small measure of kindness (love) in this world. And it inspires her to reach out, instead of give up. And maybe later down the line, she helps someone else!

(Yes, this is what I do. I look around me, not to pass judgement, but instead to try and understand. And help, if I can. I do the story thing often! It distracts me from standing in the queue 😛 )

Of course, it isn’t always as I have outlined above. Sad realities are sometimes harsher.

We do need to be discerning; we do need to protect our hearts and minds in some cases.

But I choose to NOT live as if love is invisible, or gone. Even if I do it alone.

I want to be more kind. Judge less. I want to be graceful – showing mercy and compassion to others. I want to smile at strangers, talk with those other people don’t seem to ‘see’, allow someone to go before me, even if they don’t seem to deserve it.

Please leave me in my fairytale 😛 It makes me smile 😉

Because all I need is love 😉 ❤

These five words…

But, what if I don’t?

For more than a month now, these words have been floating around in my head, altogether as a sentence, and I have NO idea why!

There have been hours where I have sat down, and carefully considered them. Attempted to figure out exactly what it is they apply to. And I’ve got nothing! No answer! No great wisdom imparted on me!

I’ve pushed them out of my head, and not thought about them! Because sometimes when we don’t think about something, the answers come to us, right?
In this case? Wrong! Ha!

And even when I am not thinking about them, they pop up at the most random times – just a thought that has no bearing on whatever situation I find myself in.

”But, what if I don’t?”

I’ve even googled them! And I am still clueless as to their ‘why’ in my brain!
It did, however, provide me with an opportunity to laugh – giving answers (sometimes when I have left out the ‘but’) along the lines of pregnancy choices (good grief, no!); romantic song lyrics (again : good grief, no! 😛 ); the inability to control someone’s loyalty (huh?) etc.
One search even suggested, ”what if I don’t pay my taxes?” Well, I do. So it’s not that one either! Ha ha!

I still have NO idea why those words are repeating themselves in my head a million times. I do know that there are a lot of little things I could probably apply them to… but at the same time, something in me says, ”Nope, that’s not it! Try again!”

In my search for meaning for these silly five words, I found some inspiration for us all for this Monday 😉

Here’s to starting, wherever you are! ❤

Where’s the photograph?

Photo credit : Pinterest

I am probably the worst when it comes to taking photographs! And I don’t just mean selfies. I mean in general. It’s pretty much an ‘every time’ thing : I see something, and a few minutes after that particular thing/moment has passed, something in my brain says, ”You should have taken a photo!”

It was my daughter’s birthday last week, and on the Saturday that has just passed, she had a small get together with nine friends (at another friends house) – a ‘party’ on a budget, and so I worked hard! Ha ha!
(I can confirm that my lungs still work well – I managed to blow up 17 balloons without incident! 😛 😉 )

Knowing how dreadful I am with picture taking, I asked my daughter to take photo’s of ‘the party’ for me! And then I got busy decorating, and setting the table.

The following morning, I was very excited when she came to me, cellphone in hand, to show me all the pictures she had taken.
But alas, there was not a single one of all my hard work! 😮
I did not let my disappointment show, and smiled and laughed as she enthusiastically shared all the pictures of her friends. When she was finished, I casually commented, ”Why no pictures of the food and decor; all the stuff I did?”

She smiled, and replied,

”Because, Mom, isn’t it better to see the amount of happiness and fun what you did produced? You know I appreciate everything you did – look how much everyone else appreciated it too!”

That made me want to cry!

Because I really had tried, on a very limited budget, and had been so worried that it would be a flop – so many had already had rather elaborate parties that I could never have ‘matched’… but maybe I did 😉
Because… despite everything that was lacking… the evidence was in every photograph of how much fun these teenagers had actually had! (Even though all my balloons, and prettily folded serviettes, and homemade foods etc. were nowhere in sight!)

It was yet another great reminder of ‘the little things that count and make big things happen’… like all those smiling faces and laughter as a result of a bunch of ‘little efforts’ in various ways!

Photo credit : shotkit.com

I sincerely doubt that I will ever really improve when it comes to ‘taking photographs’…
Maybe I am more the ‘maker’ of the photographs 😛

Here’s wishing you all plenty of happiness and love, and heartwarming tears 😛 , for the moments you create that bring joy into the lives of others 😉
(Even if you forget to take a picture 😉 )

Cracked Pots

quotefancy.com

I also like to think that that is how the light shines through.

It’s a nice thought : some of us are perfect. But it’s not true. Even if that is how we may perceive some people to be.

I painted this weirdo about ten years ago :

My favourite thing about him was his cracks. I loved filling them in, and in the odd spot? Adding in some of my own. 😉 For me, when he was finished, he was ‘perfect’. Just the way he was. He still stands in my home, and is one of my sources of joy.

This morning, I read (for the umpteenth time) this little story, and wanted to share it with you :

”A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

If you’re feeling a little bit broken…
(Side note : broken crayons still colour 😉 )
If you’re worried that you may not measure up…
If you’re struggling to reach perfection in areas you are certain that you should have achieved it in…
If you’re feeling inadequate, and imperfect?

Please remember : Without you being just the way you are, there would not be ‘this beauty’ (the beauty of you) to grace the world!!!
You may feel like your light has grown dim, but it is still shining – and even dim light can brighten up the darkest room!

(And yes, we should all try to do better and be better… there is always room for improvement. But along the way, while you are trying, it’s important to remember that there is still beauty in you. You are loved ❤ )

Sharing IS caring, no matter how little

This morning I sipped my coffee and pondered the three different blogposts in my head, struggling to decide which to post first. As WordPress loaded on my computer, I found myself thinking, ”you should at least try to catch up on a few other blogs before you even think of typing a post”! I was stopped in my tracks at the very first page I visited. A memory popped into my head, from about ten years ago – as clear as if I had seen it happen yesterday!

I am sure many of you are familiar with the statement : ”Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse…”
I am seeing a lot of that of late. More friends have passed in such a short space of time; our crime has escalated to a point that is even more frightening than what it was; I am seeing more and more people suffering in so many ways. And I feel utterly helpless.

To echo a line from the blog post that I read : For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand

I’ve had to stop trying to understand.

The part of this particular blog post that sparked the memory in me was this :
But give in proportion to what you have and can comfortably give (I did say ‘give’ and you will be giving, be that advice, consolation, time, physical resources). They get it for free and you pick up the tab. But as with food, there’s more than enough to go around. If only the world could grasp the fact that if each of us gave from our excess then we would change everything.

I remembered : sometimes we also just need to share the little that we have.
(And to quote another line from that same blog post : ”It’s a Law of the Universe that we get in order that we can give and then the Universe gives us more.”)

The only thing I have in excess is a heart full of comfort and caring, and my smile that comes from an unexplainable happiness within me. Those things? I freely give and share, because it is easy to.

The struggle comes in when it comes to the things I don’t have in excess…
And discernment is important in situations like that! I may not have in excess, but there are times where I have had to share what I did have – a loaf of bread halved so that we can eat, and so can someone else.

The memory that jumped to the forefront of my mind this morning was this :

About ten years ago, we were still relatively safe driving along, and parking, on the esplanade of our main beachfront – so long as you kept your doors locked and your windows up. I had been at a government building and had another couple of hours until I needed to get back. Since this was the route I was driving, I decided to stop and just watch the waves for a while. As I was driving along, looking for a good spot for me, I noticed an old beggar shuffling along, stooped low and leaning on his stick heavily.
I pulled in at the shop along the way and purchased the largest soup of the day that they had, and a loaf of bread. It was all that I could afford that day. I then doubled back to where he had settled on a bench, and went to give him the bag from the shop. He smiled, and thanked me, in his native language. I returned to my car, and looked back at him from its warmth. And what I saw made me cry – even now there are tears in my eyes.

A short distance away was a group of street children – about five of them in total, varying in age (the smallest looked about five years old). They were sitting on the wall, messing about in their ragged clothes. The oldest was scratching in the dustbin nearby, and unfortunately making a mess with the contents. The old man shouted something to him, and from the expression on his face I think he was chastised for his behaviour, ha ha! He hastily began putting the litter back in the bin. When he was finished the old man called him over, and they spoke for a short while. It looked serious. Suddenly a look of disbelief came over the child’s face, and the old man nodded and shooed him away.

I watched the encounter with great interest, wondering at this point what on earth had happened.

The child ran back to ‘his crew’, and the next thing they all jumped up and came running over to the old man. Some sat on the wall opposite him, two sat on the ground at his feet…
And I watched him share out that loaf of bread, and place the soup in the middle of their little group so that they could all dip their bread into it.
As the tears rolled down my face, I found myself thinking, ”But what will the old man eat tonight?”

I remember that that night I was so very grateful for the toast that the kids and I ate. And the thought that then went through my mind was : ”I suppose it was all he had to give them, to try and help them. It wasn’t much, and it didn’t solve any of their problems, but at least those kids had a meal that day!”

I don’t understand what is happening in this world right now. I can’t help everyone, all the time. But what I can do is help at least ONE person, in ONE moment!
Perhaps someone will notice that… not to pat me on the back, but to be inspired to do the same. The whole ‘Pay It Forward’ concept in a way.
I know everything is broken. But we can still try and bring small bits of sunshine to dark and gloomy days. ❤

Go to the Trees!

I’ve mentioned before that one of my all time favourite movies is ”You’ve Got Mail”.

Whenever ‘bad’ things happen, I can hear Tom Hanks doing his ”Godfather” impression in the movie, telling Meg Ryan to ”go to the mattresses”. ”GO TO WAR! Use ruthless tactics, if you must! But fight fight fight!”

When I get off my mattress in the morning though, I go to the trees! 😉 (and I am ruthless about focusing on positive self talk 😛 😉 )

Somebody once told me that their peaceful place is a beach – the rolling waves and the cry of seagulls, the sand between their toes… it instantly calms them.
I smiled, because that isn’t my sedative 😉 and told them, ”I’m a forest and waterfall, mountains kinda girl.”

Neither option is safe for me to run to for some solitude in my area. BUT there ARE trees!!!! And I always feel a sense of silent wonderment when I gaze upon them!

I am not a tree hugger in the sense of ‘campaigning for the environment’… but I have been known to hug a tree once or twice, ha ha ha!

And when things go wrong, as they so often do; and when I am feeling sad or angry or overwhelmed…
I go to the trees! Sometimes this means finding a place to pull over in my car where there is a tree, so that I can just look at it!
And most times I am amused when my brain reminds me : you’re feeling down, and now you’re looking up 😉

I have no idea where this fascination or appreciation comes from – I do think it’s a culmination of many things, and people. But I do remember that as a child we had a large garden with big trees – some I would climb, and some I would hide behind. I’d use the large trunk to support my back, and read ”The Enchanted Wood” series. Hmmm, perhaps I have Enid Blyton to thank 😉

And then there was the garden next door!
It was huge, and the side section was made up of a maze of pathways in amongst the lilies, daisies and clivias, and what to this little girl seemed like giant Weeping Willows!
The couple who lived there were grandparents – not mine – but they might as well have been, ha ha! I would often go there for tea – freshly baked scones with jam and cream, or whatever batch of homemade biscuits/cookies had just been baked! And then I would go and help Uncle Ian in the garden, while Aunty June rang my mother to let her know I was with them (because sometimes I just went there without seeking permission to! Ha ha!) Tea was always after the garden!
Uncle Ian knew how much I loved my Enchanted Wood books, and would let me drone on about the interesting characters, never once getting impatient with me!
And one day when I arrived unannounced, he told me he had known I was coming and he had a surprise for me. Looking back now as an adult, I am still filled with such fondness for that dear old man!

As we approached the Weeping Willows, he put his finger to his lips and whispered, ”You need to be very quiet. Maybe you will spot a fairy!” My eyes were suddenly the largest they had ever been, and they glistened with excitement as my lips made an excited oval! He smiled, and continued whispering, ”I think the fairies have come to live here because of you. Be careful where you step, because they have made little beds in places on the side of the path. Off you go now! I’ll wait here. They might run away if they see me!”
And he waited and watched as I tiptoed along the path, being extra careful where I put my feet, my eyes searching the area for fairy beds, and fairies!
The fairies were afraid of me, and stayed hidden… but oh! I found some of their little beds!!! Tufts of canopy foliage all bunched together – and some even slept with a small daisy as a pillow! (I grew up and realised he had made those little beds, especially for me! I think my heart did cartwheels the day I realised that!)

Inwardly, I squealed with delight upon every discovery – but I remembered what Uncle Ian had said about scaring the fairies, and so I would look back at him with a huge smile, my eyes dancing, and a finger to my lips, nodding that I understood. And he would be standing there, in the same spot under the shade of a tree, smiling back at me.
We had eight magical months of fairy seeking (despite my mother being extremely unhappy about it because he was filling my head with nonsense!) – and my imagination being what it was, I even caught a glimpse of a few fairies in that time 😉 And then Uncle Ian got really sick, and a few days later he passed away.
I snuck back into the garden one day, without first seeking out Aunty June because I knew she was sad. I couldn’t find a single fairy bed, and I remember curling up on the path, staring up at the Weeping Willows, and weeping!
I wasn’t there for very long when Aunty June found me. (My mother had rung to say I was missing and Aunty June knew where I would be.)
Over tea and scones she explained to me that the fairies had gone with Uncle Ian, to look after him. And I actually remember that that made my heart happy!
I’m guessing Uncle Ian played a big part in my love for trees too!

Why all the tree ‘bark’ (talk)? 😛

I saw something on Facebook, and it actually made me cry! Thinking back on the last 40 plus years of my life, I identified with every single word of it! The ending was an epiphany of sorts!

Trees help me breathe! Not just because they produce oxygen! They truly stop me in my tracks… they force me to pause in their magical beauty… they remind me to BREATHE!

I don’t know what works for you…. I don’t know what it is that reminds you, in pain and sorrow and anger and confusion; in moments where you just want to give up…. TO BREATHE….

But my hope for every single one of you reading this is that in the coming days whatever that thing is, it will find its way to you somehow, in immense amounts, so that whatever you are facing, you will be able to remember to ‘just breathe’! ❤