Grumpy storms

My friend has a fridge magnet that reads : ”Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and sometimes I let him sleep!”

The first time I saw it on her fridge, I laughed…. just as her husband was entering the kitchen. And the chase was on. I think his intention was to tickle me to death, because ‘how could I agree with her‘! She came to my rescue, and I laughed my way through trying to apologise. Eventually, he agreed – he can be pretty grumpy, ha ha!

Well! The other day, I woke up stormy! And there was NO man in my bed 😛 😉

4:30am, and something disturbed my sleep. I looked at the time, groaned, and closed my eyes again – I still had half an hour to stay in bed! And then I heard it! Not even a rumbling or rolling of thunder. Cracks instead, that sounded like dynamite explosions in the sky! It was terrific, and a little horrific, all at the same time!

I hopped out of bed to get my coffee made, just in case our power went. While waiting for the kettle to boil, I looked out of the window and found myself in awe of the sky! I rushed to my room and grabbed my phone on my way out back – I simply HAD to get a picture!
Sunrise was only at 5:20am. But at 4:45am, this is what the sky looked like! (No edit done on this picture!)

The explosions in the sky got closer and closer, and woke the rest of the household at around 5:30am. My daughter came rushing out of her room, in a flurry of ‘oh my word‘ exclamations. And stopped dead in my doorway. I looked up from my reading and smiled, ”Quite a storm, huh?”
She was baffled! ”How are you and Lily so calm? Sheesh!”

My little dog was curled up, and still fast asleep. As if she didn’t know the storm was even happening around her! I was sipping my coffee, and reading, genuinely not afraid in any way. My daughter shook her head, and then disappeared off to the kitchen to make her toast.

I put down my book, because ‘my day now needed to begin’, and as I readied myself to face it in a way that would make me acceptable to be seen in public 😛 I found myself feeling very thoughtful when considering her words.

We all know that life itself holds plenty of ‘storms’.

The physical storm that we were experiencing in that early morning? I had absolutely no control over it, and I knew I had to wait it out and ‘see what happened’. Summer is coming here, and I know we are in for plenty of really big ones. The knowledge that they are coming, and that they will go (eventually, ha ha!) and that I just need to wait because I can’t do anything about them – something about knowing all that means that even when it sounds so destructive, I have a calm and a peace inside me. I know that sometimes there will be damage done that will need to be dealt with, but that I have to wait till it’s over, and then tackle those things.

It reminded me of this :

And I smiled. I have more work to do 😛

How wonderful if I could apply my reaction to physical storms, to all the other storms I have to face, that are not in my control?

If I look back on my life, the proof is in the pudding – a decadent chocolate one 😛 😉
This too shall pass!
(And hopefully not like a kidney stone 😛 )

I just need to shift my focus more towards the peace and calm 😉

Hoping for peace and calm for all of you, in whatever storms you may be facing right now ❤

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Worthy contributions

I recently found myself alongside an armed response reaction officer. (All is well, I am fine, in case you are wondering 😉 )

In the moment, I was pretty darn angry, because I felt he was failing in something that to me was ‘just logical’. I controlled my anger well in that moment. And I am glad that I did!
(Practising self control when feeling infuriated by something is definitely not easy, and not something I am always very good at. But I have definitely improved over the years 😉 )

The reason I am glad that I didn’t ‘lose it’ with this young man is this : when the moment was over, and I was able to sort through the compartment in my head that contained the details of ‘what had just happened’, the anger slowly dissipated. Because what I know kicked in. (Well, what I have been learning about and trying to train my brain to consider before responding!)

The more I carefully considered the situation, and the way the individuals involved (myself included) responded to each minute of that hour and a bit, the more the words of my friend came to me (I mentioned them in my last blog post) : ‘’We interpret things from where we are….’’

In this case, perhaps the young man alongside me had very little to draw from. His training had prepared him for certain situations, but this was not one of them. I know that if I were in his position on any given day in his job, my response to things would probably disappoint him – he’d probably shake his head at me!
The view from my window of the world provided me with the knowledge and instincts necessary for me to be able to assist in a way that he could not, and possibly had not even thought about. But the view from his window of the world, should I have been alongside him in a different situation, would probably have saved my life!

It all brought me back to something I say often :

We are all different, even though some of us are the same, and there is nothing wrong with that!
This weekend, not only will I be pondering the above (different views from different windows), but I will also be focusing my thoughts (making it a habit for my brain to respond in this way) on the following :

‘’It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences!’’ ~ Audre Lorde

The world needs me! But it also needs that young man! And it needs someone like you!
We all have something beautiful and worthy to contribute – we just do it in different ways!
So here’s to unity, instead of division 😉

Have a great weekend, everyone!
Meg ❤

Almost time

It’s that time of year again! The very last day of it! Soon we will usher in a whole new 365 days! What will we do with them?

Do you have big plans for tonight? I do – they involve my dogs, my daughter and my pyjama’s! 😛 I probably won’t make it to midnight, again! No matter! So long as I get to wake up and experience the next new day, I’m happy 😉
My happiness may be short lived, because we all know that while each day is a gift and full of opportunity, sometimes things come our way and try to detract from its beauty. But this is life. A mixture of mishaps and motivations! Disappointments, and fulfilling rewards!
As the saying goes, ‘you can’t have a rainbow without the rain‘ 😉

I gave up on New Year’s resolutions years ago. I decided that life applies enough pressure, why should I add to it and find more ways to disappoint myself? 😛 Ha ha ha! However, yes, I do still have goals and dreams… you just never know 😉
But seriously…..

I find myself chanting, ”Little things make big things happen”.
And I’m a sucker for hope.

Being the way I am doesn’t win me a lot of friends, surprisingly. Comments are usually along the lines of me being ”annoyingly positive and optimistic”’, and ”unrealistically hopeful because you’re not in control of those things now, are you?”

Being annoyingly positive and optimistic is what works for me – it keeps me going, and it’s the way I choose to be, because without it I’d be risking becoming destructively negative and hateful. ”Know thyself” – I know me. I know my history, and I know there is the potential for much bitterness, if I don’t try and keep that door closed. So I simply HAVE to keep trying!

As for the unrealistically hopeful part? I agree – I can only control myself, and for most of us our living circumstances usually put us in a position where we’re at the mercy of others (some examples : if you live in a housing development, you can’t just do as you please because there are rules; each country has laws that need to be followed, so again, we cannot just do as we please; if you’re waiting on important documentation, you cannot control the time it will take/you have no say in the process that needs to be followed).
But as dire as those things seem, even when the outcome seems impossible….
There is always hope!
Once again, this is a way I choose to be, because without it I strongly suspect I may cease to be me.
It’s difficult for me to explain, and you could probably only understand it if you have ever felt the same way. It’s not that I am unrealistic. It’s not that I refuse to acknowledge the challenges, or am oblivious to the limitations. I DO see all of those things! But at the very same time there is a flame within that burns, reminding me, ”Don’t give up. Not yet. You just never know!”
I suspect that that is what fuels my journey. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr. :

“If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.”

Returning to ”little things make big things happen”…..

I am going into the New Year hoping for something in particular for 2022. It is not a big thing. It is monumentally huge! It’s going to require little and big things in order for it to happen. And to be totally honest, I am already feeling a little bit frustrated, ha ha ha! Because it’s a goal that is realistic, but at the same time because of time, and my inability to control everything, is also a little bit unrealistic.
Next mantra on repeat : ”Don’t give up. Not yet. You just never know!”

As and when, if it happens or if it doesn’t, I will share with all of you. I am hopeful that it will be a share of celebration! I acknowledge the possibility that it may not. BUT :
Whatever the ‘weather’, we’ll weather the weather, whether we want to or not 😉

So very grateful to each and every one of you for reading and commenting and liking over the years – I treasure having you all along for the ride 😉

And I’ll end with this :

“We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.” ― Ellen Goodman

No matter what lies ahead in the year that is coming, my hope is that you will all find the strength to carry on and face each new day with the thought to at least keep TRYING! And my extra special request for each person who has read this is that in that trying, you will be surprised by some ‘supposed unrealistic happenings’ being made real for you in the very best of ways! ❤

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE AND ALL!

You are needed

Somewhere, someone threw an alarm clock, and it caused time to fly, and I am not even entirely sure what day it is today 😛

In the last few days, I have packed up my mother’s things, moved her to a new frail care facility, and unpacked everything for her on that side too. My body hurts in places I didn’t even know I had muscles 😛
Yes… it’s been exhausting. The ‘teething problems’ have been tough emotionally. It will be a while still till she settles properly.
BUT… I am grateful she is somewhere that she will be properly fed and cared for.
I am grateful that I had the strength and ability to be able to do all that I have done.
I am grateful that I have a home, and a warm bed, to finish my days with.
I am exhausted. But I can still smile. I have so much to smile about, after all. And what I don’t have? Well, then maybe I don’t need it 😉

Now on to today’s blog post… whatever day today is 😛

I have a wonderful fellow blogger on here who I regularly exchange emails with. A very private person, who doesn’t really reveal too much, and yet there are plenty of things I DO know. And every day, I see something in my few minutes of mindless scrolling on Facebook that make me think of this person. Because it is just who I have got to know them to be – the things that have been revealed are evidence of this sort of character.

The image I am talking about reads like this :

”I cannot do all the good that the world needs. But the world needs all the good I CAN do.” ~ Jana Stanfield

One of my friends added in the comments, because I shared the image, that ‘even a small light in a dark tunnel is still a light’. Somebody else said to me, ”Oh Megs, this is just YOU to a tee!”

My thoughts for today on this?

What words do people associate with you? But more importantly, what words would you WANT them to associate with you? And are you trying to live up to the those words, at least? Because trying, and slow progress, is better than no progress, remember? 😉

AND….

Whatever day it is today 😛 , and no matter what your day holds, try and be kind… try and do some good… because the world needs that, but more importantly, the world needs YOU!

Ladders and Leaning

Many of us have heard of ‘Wednesday Wisdom’- it’s a popular hashtag.

And it always makes me smile, because one of the things that I find myself desiring the most is wisdom. Someone once commented to me in my early thirties, ”Well, my girl, wisdom comes with age”. I found myself denying the ‘laws of womanhood’, and becoming excited about getting older! 😛
Do I like my laugh lines (wrinkles 😛 )? Not particularly, no.
Do I like that some days I get up and everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t seem to want to work properly? 😛 Gosh, no!
Do I like that my childhood punishment of having to take a nap is something I now find myself thinking of and desperately desiring to do? NOPE!
But if all those things mean that I am growing a little wiser with each passing day? Well then, YES PLEASE!

I KNOW I can’t go wrong with seeking wisdom in all things. Living a life where every minute of every day is spent being sensible and focusing on wise thinking, and being experienced and knowledgeable enough to always practice good judgement? Well then every day would be utterly incredible in the most wonderful ways! And if we could all be like that, not only would we be the very definition of perfection, but this world would be too.
At the same time, I am also fully aware that being this way every minute of every day is probably unachievable.
But if I focus on at least TRYING to be, then surely I’ll get it right more often than not?
Well, that is what I hope anyway 😉

Positive encouragement and inspiration are, for me, wisdom nuggets to be added to my memory bank. There are little things along the way that I manage to store, and so when faced with a particular situation, I am able to recall them, and put them into practice in order to make a ‘wise choice’.
I am also a big believer in sharing positive encouragement and inspiration – nugget worthy reminders – because maybe something plants itself in your mind, and perhaps is able to ‘come to your rescue’ when you find yourself having to make a difficult choice, or help somebody else.

So here is a nugget I picked up on this morning. It will probably mean something different to you than what it means to me, because we’re all different, and our circumstances and choices that we are perhaps faced with are unique. But I thought I would share it anyway, because it left me with a lot to think about.
I saw the following quote :
“People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.” – Thomas Merton

As we all know, the definition of success is a rather personal one, because it comes down to what you think it is. Hence the impact of this quote will have a different meaning to all of us.
But this quote stirred something within me, and so I spent a little time ‘investigating’ it.
And in my ‘investigation’ I found an article that I suppose could be classified as a ‘business point of view’ but there were things in there that spoke to me in a personal way too.
SO… in the spirit of Wednesday Wisdom and imparting nuggets for others to store 😉 …..
I will end with a quote from the article – and if you click on it, it will take you to the full article if you wish to read it.
Here’s to being wise 😉

”Sometimes, we get where we always wanted to go & then realize that what we needed was there at the bottom of the ladder the whole time – and we didn’t bring them along. That may be family, that may be friends, faith, health, whatever speaks to you.”

Awakenings

‘‘Leonard Lowe : We’ve got to tell everybody. We’ve got to remind them. We’ve got to remind them how good it is.

Dr. Sayer : How good what is, Leonard?

Leonard Lowe : Read the newspaper. What does it say? All bad. It’s all bad. People have forgotten what life is all about. They’ve forgotten what it is to be alive. They need to be reminded. They need to be reminded of what they have and what they can lose. What I feel is the joy of life, the gift of life, the freedom of life, the wonderment of life!”

and……

“The human spirit is more powerful than any drug, and that is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. These are the things that matter. This is what we’d forgotten, the simplest things.”
ROBIN WILLIAMS – Dr. Malcolm Sayer

The above are two quotes from the 1990 movie, “Awakenings”.

I was a pre-teen when this movie came out (yes, I am old 😛 ) and the day of my cousin’s wedding, we all headed to the movies afterwards to watch it. (all the cousins, except the one who had just got married, of course!) I didn’t fully understand the movie back then, but it still made me cry. And I was teased relentlessly for months afterwards because I was the only one in our group of 9 who did so.

In my twenties, I still remembered that early evening at the movies. I found that I could no longer recall the movie itself, or why it had me cry, and so I sought it out to watch it again. Yip! I cried again! I think it’s impact on me changed somewhat though, because I was more mature and able to understand better.

What made me think of, or reminded me of, this movie?

On Friday evening, I had a brief conversation with my neighbour. We’ve been living opposite each other in our housing complex for almost ten years now. And after a few years, we became friends. Even though we live so close, our schedules don’t always allow for social time, and so every now and then you’ll find us having ‘driveway conversations’ in passing. Once or twice, her husband has even brought us cups of coffee while we’re doing so 😛 (And the best husband award goes to…. 😛 )
Friday evening was a ‘scheduled driveway conversation’. Because we sometimes do that too! 😛
I had asked her to let me know when she came home and had time for a quick chat – yes, I can see when she comes home 😛 But she has two young boys, so I prefer not to stop her on her way in to the house, but instead allow her time to say hello etc. She messaged me when she was free and we met on her driveway. I asked my question, she told me what she thought, and we moved on to a general quick catch up. We parted ways about thirty minutes later, and her parting comment to me was, ”I just don’t know how you do it… but I’ll say this : in all of it, you’re changing. In a really good way. Yes, you’re softer… but in ways that count… and it’s not a bad thing. Keep going, because it’s actually a strength.”

Those words have been a running loop in my brain ever since.

We all know that the world, and sometimes people closest to us, will tell us ‘you’re too this, or too that’- you’re too much, or not enough. We all know that sometimes that truly hurts us, or angers us, and bitterness momentarily creeps in.

And yet we are so quick to do the same to others!

I am definitely going through a ‘time of awakening’. There is no doubt in my mind of that! I can’t tell you exactly when it started but I know it is happening. I know because I am experiencing it daily.
I am just beginning to SEE things differently, in every way. And it has become a whole new journey on its own! It has its own rewards, but it is also probably one of the most difficult journey’s I have ever had to make. It is NOT easy, and I’d be lying if I said there were not times that I wish I could just go back. Especially since all of a sudden, daily, troubles are abounding – and not of the small variety either!

And having the very nature of my soul softening even more than what it has ever been, means that I am now open to being hurt more easily, as well as feeling more hurt on an even deeper level. It is increasing my levels of compassion and kindness and making me even more patient and tolerant than what I ever thought I could be. Even my reasoning is changing : a small example?
In the past, in a particular situation, I was known to ‘tolerate’ because if I didn’t, then xyz would happen and it would affect me – for all intents and purposes, giving that person a semblance of control over me; allowing them to use me because of the ‘carrot they could dangle in front of me’.
Now, I find myself tolerating even more than before, being more understanding, responding a little more gently because lashing out at them, saying my piece to purposely hurt them (because I really could), rebelling and excusing it as standing up for myself? NONE of those things would be a reflection of good character. None of those things would benefit the situation in any way, other than to make it worse. And it would disrupt my peace and joy entirely!

Please don’t get me wrong. I understand the concepts of ‘telling it like it is; not wasting time beating around the bush; brutal honesty is sometimes a necessity’. I know that there are many times in life that call for all those things. And if those things, delivered as is, bring you peace, cause you to grow in a positive way, help you move forward in life, and bring you an explainable joy even in times of trouble? Then that is YOUR journey and what works for YOU!

But I have begun to realise that in MY journey – those things don’t work for me. They disrupt my inner peace and attempt to steal my joy. They stunt my growth and stop me in my tracks.
Delivering what possibly needs to be said with brutal honesty/just telling like it is, knowing that I am deeply hurting someone else (especially when it’s under the guise of ‘I say it/do it because I love you’) is not the time for ME to have the attitude of ‘sorry not sorry’.

For me? I reserve the right to use ‘sorry not sorry’ in this way :
I will continue to try and be kind, and grateful, and understanding, even towards those who have hurt me, and are not deserving of my compassion in any way. (It is so difficult!!!) I will continue to be respectful and considerate of them for the most part. I will deliver things that do have to be said gently, without intention to hurt. This does not mean that their behaviour is being excused, or that I am ‘allowing’ them to treat me badly because I am ‘broken/a sucker for punishment/a victim of abuse/a doormat/unable to win at life’.
It just means that I want MY character to reflect something different to theirs.
It just means that I want to continue to grow IN MYSELF, in a positive way, spreading goodness and love and mercy – being this way is what brings me inner peace and joy in ways that I cannot explain.

And neither way is wrong. Because how we choose to be is what works for us, as INDIVIDUALS!

Which one are you? Which way do you choose to be? (Rhetorical questions!)
Parting thought on this post : a new week lies ahead and my note to self for it is this :

Dearest Meg, respect ‘the journey’. And not just your own!

And just keep being who you are, growing in the ways that bring you joy, peace, gratitude and appreciation for all the simple and beautiful things in life that YOU WANT! The things that matter to YOU! Stop letting other people’s opinions about your journey weigh so heavily on you! Don’t be distracted, or stand in judgement, of someone else’s journey. You’ve got your own ride 😉

Are you hoarding it?

One of my happy places is being given the opportunity to read to a child / children.

For my daughter’s fifth birthday (eleven years ago, where has the time gone?!?), I really didn’t have a whole lot of money (not much has changed 😛 ), but wanted her to have a party. And so I decided to put my happy place to good use. I threw her a Cinderella party, and we played ‘pass the slipper’ (a plastic bling-ed up little girls high heel). But only after I had gathered the children around to read them the story of Cinderella.
(Yes, there were boys at the party, but I didn’t hear a single one of them complain 😉 There was, after all, cake 😛 )

Because of the age group, the parents stayed for the party. That was the day that I discovered that my happy place was not just a place – but a gifting of mine! That I definitely had a talent. Every single parent at the party approached me at some stage during the party to compliment me on my ‘story delivery’. The most surprising compliment came from a man! He said, ”Meg, I’ve always known you to be expressive – but oh man! You even had me mesmerised by the story. I know it well, because my daughter requests it often. I’ll never be able to read it like you can though!”

I’ve mentioned before, in a blog post from the past, that delightful movie called ”You’ve Got Mail”!
In the movie, Meg Ryan owns a bookstore called ‘The Shop Around the Corner’. And it’s the most exquisite little bookstore! Because she has a time set when the children can come, and she reads to them! She even dresses up to do so! I look nothing like that Meg, but this Meg would love to have that bookstore and do the exact same thing!

My daughter gave me the privilege of allowing me to read to her right up until she was eleven years old. People called me ridiculous, because no one could call me, visit me, or take me out between 6:30 and 7:30pm for many years. That was ‘my’ reading time – precious moments spent, reading to my daughter, sharing my love for books and, well, my love for reading.
It was very much the same thing with my son. And both my ‘children’ (now nearly 16 and 23) still spend hours reading.

Am I sharing this with you in order to brag? To ‘toot my own horn’? Nope. I am actually sharing it because it’s something I consider an ‘epic fail’ on my part… and although the ‘fail’ may not be the same, perhaps you find yourself in a similar predicament today.

I randomly came across these two images this morning, one directly after the other :

A talent is usually defined as a ‘natural aptitude or skill’. Aptitude? Well, that is the natural ability to excel in a certain area.

When I saw those two images, the first thing that sprang to mind was, ”When last did you read to a child, Meg?”
(Yes, apparently I am also talented when it comes to talking to myself 😛 )

And I instantly felt sad because this is the one thing I am fully confident in : I am an extremely expressive person who loves reading and takes great pleasure in sharing all of that with others by reading out loud to them. And I’m not doing it. (Quite possibly because I lack full confidence in other areas that may be hindering this one – to mention one : having someone video me and posting it online.)
I simply have to work on this! It’s important… and not just to me!

Because, for whoever is reading this and nodding their head :

Imagine how boring and awful this world would be if every person who had a talent kept it to themselves? We’d have no musicians, no books to read, no Netflix 😛 (the list goes on and on)

I am sure there are many things you can do well. But what is that one thing that you do the best? Are you sharing it with the world? Or is something holding you back?

I still don’t know how I am going to drown out the noise, conquer my fears, overcome the challenges in order to use this truly beautiful talent I have! (Suggestions are welcome 😉 They might not work because of where I live – but who knows where your suggestion might send my mind to thinking 😉 )

What I do know is this : We ALL need to find a way to use the talent we have been given.

In a world where we can be anything, the saying goes that we should be ‘kind’. And sometimes being kind to others is as simple as sharing our gift with them! ❤

The Glowing Effect

I had a telephone conversation yesterday with someone who, like me, is facing an onslaught of ‘troubles’ and starting to feel like disappointments and problems are becoming far too familiar, as each hour of the day ticks by. We both laughed as we said at the very same time, ”I just feel like I am so over it all, but quitting isn’t an option.”

We continued to chat, at length, and I thought I’d share a summary of sorts with you all.

I don’t know if you have ever seen the meme about temptation, but it goes like this :

”Lead me not into temptation… I know the way already!” 😛

And the thing is that no matter where we’re at spiritually, we ALL know about temptation… and how easy it is to sometimes give in. (Deny what I have said, but please remember this the next time you know you are not supposed to have that slice of chocolate cake, but you simply must and so you eat it anyway. 😛 )
Temptation doesn’t always refer to ‘disastrous consequences’.

When we are faced with those times where everything is just ‘oh so hard’ and we really don’t see an end in sight (because perhaps we have no control over the situation to start with) it’s not hard to get tempted to allow our brains to start considering ‘quitting’ – over it all / I give up.

It’s in these moments that we have to choose to do possibly one of the bravest things we have ever done :
We have to not quit.

You may be thinking right now : but some things/situations need to be ‘quit’, and you know that, so what are you on about….

I’m on about this : No matter what, please don’t quit on YOURSELF! Yes, some things need to be ‘quit’ … but YOU don’t!

There is a BIG world out there, made up of a large amount of people, and each and every one is a unique individual with their very own talents, strengths, weaknesses… and responses.
Someone who can identify with me, understand me, be helped or positively affected by me? That someone may not respond to you in the same way. HOWEVER, there may be someone who just cannot hear what I say, but when they deal with you, you stir a fire in their soul.

Discouragement holds us back. Disappointment keeps us stuck. The chaos in this broken world hurts us and sometimes brings us to a full stop.

But if you are reading this? If you are still here? There’s purpose FOR YOU! There’s a reason you still exist, and it isn’t to quit!

You are here because someone out there NEEDS YOU!

You might even be the only one who they can accept kindness from; you might be the only one who makes them truly feel loved; you might be the only one who helps their heart fully appreciate that they have value.

Too often, we get so caught up in our ‘negative attributes’ that we forget the good things we have to offer this world.

So when everyone else keeps shouting about everything that is wrong with you, PLEASE shout to yourself about what is RIGHT about you.

I’m off to try and be a glimmer of light in someone else’s world today – because it always adds some light to mine.
To quote the first part of a famous quote by Martin Luther King Jr. :
”Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that…..”

And so when everything feels like it’s out of control, and darkness seems to be looming….
Let us not quit! Let us instead become glimmers of light!
It doesn’t just affect others, it begins to have a ‘glowing’ effect on us too 😉

Rocking out, and Eating Elephants

Do you know the song, Party Rock Anthem?

(I am very familiar with a variety of party/dance music – and not just because I have a teenage daughter. The familiarity dates back to when she was a little girl. She’s a dancer, and thankfully their dancing teacher always finds ‘clean’ versions of songs for them to dance to, even now. Strangely enough, my whole life, this type of music has always been a genre that has ‘got me going’. If my house needs a good clean? Dance music will be blaring. Even though I am in my early forties 😛 )

Back to the song I mentioned above…
There’s a repetitive line in it that says : ”Everyday I’m shuffling”.
Well, for me, I’m on the hunt for clown shoes, because I feel like ‘Everyday I’m JUGGLING’.
On any given day there are so many balls in my air space, all at once, that it takes a very large amount of effort for me to keep them there. I’d love to say that I am always 100% successful…. but like with any good circus clown, at least one needs to drop at some time, or else it wouldn’t be funny, right? 😛

I am relieved that most times, when I drop a ball, it isn’t too much of an issue. It’s minor things I may have let slip, or forgotten – no harm, no foul. Yesterday I dropped a ball though that could have been really serious. Thankfully, somehow, there was a Plan B (I still don’t know how there was a Plan B, because I had completely missed Plan A!!!) and so what could have been a serious problem, was just a minor bump in the road.

Last night, as my son was ‘passing through my space’, and heading to the shower, he made a comment about what had happened – which is odd because I had not said that I was open to discussion about the issue 😛
(In actual fact, when I briefly relayed a summary of events to the kids, I pretty much warned them that I was feeling super sensitive about it all, and so anything they were planning to talk about, even if unrelated, that they knew would add to my stressed out mind should probably be put on hold till today…. unless it was an emergency.)

And yet my son’s comment didn’t stress me out. It was one of those things that makes you stop and think, ”Who are you, and what have you done with my kid?” 😛
And it took my thoughts a little further too 😉

I am definitely ‘pro having an attitude of gratitude’, and even though some days are truly landslide days, I still find something to be grateful for.
I am also a ‘little things’ person – I notice and appreciate the small things, and I believe they do count.
It’s definitely a ‘lifestyle’ for me – a mindset that I have that I do without even knowing that I do it half the time.

And yet, surprisingly, there are still things that I ‘forget’. Little things that I see, without seeing.
(Kind of like when I bump into someone who says to me, ”I’ve driven past you about four times this week, and I’ve waved every time. You looked right at me, but didn’t wave back.”
And I have to tell them, ”I probably wasn’t actually looking at you – I was probably watching all the cars where you were, trying to anticipate their next move for my safety sake. I’m so sorry…. if I had seen you, I promise I would have waved.” And there is always a nod of understanding and a sympathetic comment, and off we go. Because where I live, driving on our roads is treacherous, and we all know it.)

So… sometimes it is only after a time of TRUE and QUIET reflection on events that happen, that I am able to fully SEE what I already saw in the moment. You’d think I’d do better at seeing these things, because a lot of times they’re actually kind of repetitive… but each time, there is a new ‘take away’, in some way, and so I can’t help but wonder if perhaps it’s not so much about the repetition / learning the lesson of seeing them every time ‘properly’, but more about the additional small things that get added along the way.

Desmond Tutu said something once, regarding ‘big’ problems :
”How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
The meaning behind it is that pretty much most things in life that seem daunting or overwhelming can usually be accomplished or ‘solved’ by going slowly and taking on things a little bit at a time. But of course, this is not always perfect, because hey, as we all know, some things just aren’t in our control – no matter how much time we spend chewing 😉
But I still agree with him for the most part, if there are no control issues.

That said…

When you are presented with more than one elephant, as in a few of them? Let’s face it, that means more than one bite at a time…. and you just aren’t going to have the space in your stomach for those first bites, no matter how much you love to eat 😛
And you ARE going to feel overwhelmed and out of sorts.
Probably even more so when you gain a new elephant the next day!
(Isn’t life just the funniest thing, the way everything seems to ‘go wrong’ at once?)

But last night, I was reminded yet again :

I might feel like a clown (minus the shoes because I can’t find them) in a room full of elephants, juggling far too many balls to probably be considered ‘healthy’, and I might have the odd moment where I actually end up dropping a ball (which I do not find funny at all, sigh – until much later on 😛 )

BUT there’s a bigger picture, and my hope and my faith (which may be different to yours, and that is okay) sometimes works behind the scenes, and I get blindsided by goodness, especially when I had NO plan to start with.

I’ll leave you with this little note :

It is always good to have a plan – to be prepared, to have a goal with a strategic step-by-step to get you there – and to have a Plan B… C… D – because you never know what’s going to work, right?
But somedays? Somedays you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens (quote by Mandy Hale)…. especially on the days where you forgot to make a Plan A!!!
And on those days? When things turn out okay even though you dropped the ball?

Don’t forget to breathe out a huge sigh of gratitude! It will give you a reason to smile at least 😉

Making Other Plans

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again… ”Life sometimes happens when we are busy making other plans”.

The original quote came from John Lennon, apparently. (There has been some speculation, and according to the Yale book of quotations, the origin is attributed to writer and cartoonist Allen Saunders.)

Whoever said it, whoever came up with it? There’s truth to it!

We all know that sometimes ‘life’ just happens. And let’s face it, in an ideal world it would happen the way we wanted it to… but we all know that at present our world is less than ideal. I have many moments (some good and some bad) where I find myself stopping to catch my breath, and thinking, ”Wait! What just happened?”

These days, it’s just too easy to ‘get busy and run out of time’. So many occurrences that dim the light of our passions.
Suddenly we notice that yet another week has passed us by, and in reflecting on it we suddenly become aware of the little things : there wasn’t a moment where I experienced a good old belly chuckle; that great thing happened on Tuesday, but I was so worried about the meeting on Wednesday that I didn’t actually take time to appreciate it; my days were so full of ‘being busy’ that I didn’t stop to breathe, and just be ‘me’. And the list goes on and on.

It’s a never ending ‘cycle of life’ for many of us, right?

In a world where bravery and strength only seems to be acknowledged when you’re doing it ‘out loud’, perhaps we should try and pause for a moment, and reflect inwardly, and try and remember that the bravery and strength that lies within our hearts is far more important than the ones that get ‘shouted about’.

There is power in holding joy in your heart
There is power in practicing restraint.
There is power in giving to others – not only in not expecting to get it back, but also in not needing to advertise it.
There is power in being kind – especially to those who ‘don’t deserve it’.

And the bravery and strength within your heart – if your heart is true and you allow these things to consume it (take time to reflect on THEM and educate yourself/absorb your heart and mind in THESE things) – will give you that power…

To ‘do’ life… when it happens…

To learn to live with grace, for yourself, and especially for others!

And to experience a joy that not many people can actually understand!

Please be good to yourselves this week – and to your hearts! Because you are worth it! ❤