Sweet as Sugar, the chocolate coated kind

Today I am breaking away from my usual style of growth, inspiration, encouragement and purpose to bring you something of equal importance. Funny enough, this thing can be known to elicit responses in all of the above too! 😛 😉

Today (according to Days of the Year) is Chocolate-Covered Peanuts Day!
How awesome is that? And what a fantastic type of day to celebrate!
Of course my euphoric level of excitement is prompted by the fact that Chocolate-Covered Peanuts are my absolute favourite!

And it’s just another reason for little old me to absolutely love the big old US!

Rumor has it that the first ones were sold in America in 1925, and that the unofficial festival pertaining to this day originated in the US!

The upside of these delicious little treats is that most times the peanuts are whole and not processed, so you get the nutritional benefits of them, as well as some fiber. The downside is that they are not calorie friendly at all, and because they’re so tasty, portioning them into smaller amounts to consume is tough.

I gained some very much unwanted kilos last year. I don’t know who said it, but it seems that last year I was the poster child for ‘I try to lose weight, but it keeps finding me’. That said, I have been assured a few times that I don’t look bad – and my doctor told me the other day that I’m very far from an unhealthy weight. My problem with it though is that I feel uncomfortable. So I knew I needed to change it.

Mid January, I started training my brain towards healthier eating – I’ve never been a bad eater… but I know there are things I could eat less of. And I have begun to ‘count my calories’. Not in an obsessive, ‘you’re such a failure because you’re 50 calories over’ kind of way…. I am just more conscious of the calories, and my food choices.

And I realised, upon discovery of what day today is, (chocolate-covered peanuts day, in case you didn’t know 😉 ) that I haven’t eaten any of these heavenly treats since before Christmas! Wait, what? How is that even possible? Oh yeah, I’ve been looking for other food stuffs in the shops when I go – healthier options that are not so calorific!

I don’t think we should always deny ourselves small measures of things that bring us pleasure. I’m not deviating from my original plan, but because today’s celebration is one that is close to my heart (and even closer to my stomach 😛 ) I think I will head out to the shops and purchase a small bag of this delightful treat! (Small, because I am still going to try and make healthier choices.)
We’ve already established (as mentioned in a previous post) that mystery is not my superpower – but I know I have other superpowers.

And today I will prove that making a small bag of chocolate-covered peanuts disappear is one of them 😉

 

funny fat stuff

 

Sing with me…..

 

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The above was sent to me by my friend of 20+ years. She knew I would appreciate the humour in it. And of course I do….even though some of it is true for me 😛

I discovered recently that I have a very toxic relationship that I am truly struggling to let go of – the relationship I have with my body. It’s a recent discovery for me because I have never viewed my poor physical self image in this light. It truly is a ‘woman thing’ (although, sorry girls, we’re not exclusive! There are men who suffer too!) – we all experience it at some stage or another. But my stage has lasted way too long. For me, it is linked to what can only be described as emotional baggage – a culmination of negativity, lack of support, stressful events and criticism dating back to childhood. The result was poor self esteem in every area of my life. And while I am managing quite successfully to learn lessons and grow in all other areas in a positive way, I am still struggling with this one thing – my body.

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And I have to admit that the funny image above carries with it a semblance of truth – because I have always felt fat, fussing over finding something to wear that doesn’t make me look it has never been an issue.

Strangely enough, this has never sent me along the path of having an eating disorder. And I am truly grateful for that.

But it is still an unhealthy obsession to have, and it is definitely a toxic relationship to be in. It’s understandable when your body is quitting on you due to ill health – my body is slowly giving in to a variety of health issues, and so to be upset with it for that reason still carries a small amount of justification. But to be mad at my body because of fat? Well, that’s just ludicrous! Because my fat is not entirely owing to medical issues.

And here’s the really funny part….. I’m actually only 10 kilos (22 pounds) ”overweight”.
Before my daughter was born, I was at what I thought was MY perfect goal weight – 55kg’s (121 pounds). It was my perception of what ‘looking good’ would be for me. No big surprise that even then I was critical of my body, claiming that I was still too fat. *rolling my eyes here*
Last week I found a photo of my son and I from those days, and I was horrified. And my children agreed… I looked terrible!!!! That ‘thin’ me didn’t suit me at all. My body looked great, but my face looked gaunt and drawn – I looked ill! It gave me some perspective.

I’m not designed to have a body like all the other ladies I want to look like, because it doesn’t suit my face! 

Yesterday I read this quote by JK Rowling : “Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.”

I’ve read it before – a few times, actually. I think that the self growth journey I have been on and working so hard at in recent years may be starting to influence my body image too, because yesterday the words finally made sense deep within me. As I stared down at the tyre tube formed in the place that used to be my waist, a new appreciation in my spirit formed.

Summer is here and I have a built in flotation device for swimming! 😛

Okay so, no, that was not the appreciation.

This morning it was confirmed for me : I need to at least try to, in everything, practice what I preach. I can’t keep pushing, ”you’re beautiful on the inside and that’s all that counts”, when I lack appreciation for that in myself.

The world will always make me feel physically inferior, for as long as I keep allowing it to make me compare my physical attributes to others.  

My physical body is not my character – who cares if I am known for having a stunning figure? Does it really matter that much to me that I have a great figure if my character is ugly? In all honesty?
NOT AT ALL!

Most important to me is to be known for my heart.

And from personal experience (mentioned above when my body looked great) I also know that no matter what my body looks like, I won’t be satisfied. I really need to end this toxic relationship – so yes, I’ll be looking for ways to do that….if you have tips and tricks, feel free to leave them in the comments.

I ALSO KNOW THAT….

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Two babies, actually 😛

Health and age may be motivating factors for the extra pounds piling on…. but I have to take some form of responsibility too! I don’t exercise enough, and although I try and eat healthy I also have a tendency to give into tasty temptation a little too often. And I definitely need to change that!

While self care and self reflection in an effort to grow and build positive character will always be of the utmost importance to me, I need to remember that there should always be a form of balance – and physical me needs attention too (and not just for appearances sake).

But then again…. there’s always this 😛 :

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